Farts In particular, what to say after you fart in a crowd (or elevator).
“Take that!”
“What do you say?” like prompting a child to say thank you.
“That’ll be five bucks, you pervert”
“Not a bad sound out of a half inch speaker”
“Did you hear that spider bark?"
“Someone step on a duck?”
“That duck’s got bad breath”
Forest Area Reticulated Tree Spiders (FARTS)
“A bit more choke and that engine will start”
“Did you hear what that asshole just said?”
“There’s someone behind me talking shit!”
“Keep shouting Sir, we’ll find you”
“So sayeth the King”
“I shouldn’t have trusted that one”
“I don’t remember eating that.”
“That’s gonna itch when it dries”
‘‘Two sniffs of that would be greedy’’
“The the horns working, now try the lights”
“Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk”
“The Rear Admiral has spoken”
(Just before you fart) “Alexa, play something by Ed Sheeran”
“Don’t worry, (name), I’ll tell them it was me!”
“You’ve/I’ve got a turd honking for the right of way.”
“Ahh, the ghost of dinners past”
“You got that one for free, next one you will have to pull my finger”
“As foretold by The Prophecy.”
“Now your turn”
The toothless one speaks !
“Sounds much better after my tune up”
“Aaaand…scene!”
“That was supposed to be a song but came out of the wrong end”
“Message from turd castle”
“Glad I’m not in my Space Suit”
“Damn! I was saving that for the elevator”
“An empty house is better than a bad tenant”
“Guess what I had for my last meal”
“This haaause is noww cleeeean”
“carpet frogs”
“Now that I have your attention, we will have a moment of silence for all those that have died in elevator accidents”
Farting in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
I’ve eaten a variant on shepherds pie with cabbage instead of corn and pea based fake meat for the last two nights for dinner and wooooof.
This is very timely, thank you.
I’ll be here all week, try the buffet.
My gf thanks you for this!
My question immediately is about the placement of the cotton ball. Is it like… on a small platform behind the person in question, or is it nestled in their ass crack right above the hole? Is the person bent over? Because I would assume they would have to be for the fart to have upward thrust instead of downward.
I have already thought about this way too much.
Also a cotton ball is pretty light but has terrible aerodynamics. I guess a styrofoam ball or a table tennis ball would work better
Yeah, that’s the point. Their fart is about to be so powerful that the laws of aerodynamics take a backseat.
What is that undefinable mass? It doesn’t even look like food. People eat that shit? I’ve seen cat food looking better than this which probably is healthier too.
I don’t know if it’s undefinable. There’s a burger of some sort (i don’t eat Wendy’s looks like bacon or bad-lighting lettuce out of the bun), a cup of chili, French fries, and cheese bread.
Unhealthy for sure, but those 4 things are pretty easy to spot
If I would get any of what you described in my country, it would look completely different, except maybe for the fries.
Are those from ‘fast food’ locations, where the food is meant to be cheap, mostly edible, and filled with fillers/garbage? If not, stop looking for gourmet from what is essentially McDonalds (in the picture it’s Wendy’s and Little Ceasars, a fast food pizza place that is boasted as the cheapest pizzas)
Yes, even from those places. Fast food in the Netherlands isn’t cheap. It needs to follow the very high food standards too. Look at these prices: https://www.thuisbezorgd.nl/menu/mcdonalds-amersfoort-centrum-1
You’re not allowed to sell toxic waste over here.
