Come to mommy, come to mommy.

(I think OP and I are referencing the same song, Come to Daddy by Aphex Twin)

Epstein Files

Um, this title doesn’t fit.

All good, I just figured your bathtubs were larger.

Hell, my kitchen sink could double as a urinal, if I were so gross.

I am considered tall. This isn’t a blessing. I would love to be about 5’10".

Well, I can see that in a bath, but I can’t fit in the bathtub. Not due to girth, but height. Loved baths as a kid. Just not an option now.

Agreed! When I condition my hair, I also condition my face. And I also have beard conditioner.

I figure a mirror in the shower would fog like crazy. I leave my bathroom door open when I am showering and expect to shave so the mirrors don’t fog up.

She tried to buy me Taco Bell and she tried to kiss me. She took me back my hotel room. I wanted nothing to do with that crazy shit.

I figured the museum would be saner the next day as her daughter was to join us. She didn’t answer, I shrugged and went.

She texted me the day after. I just blocked her. So it goes.

Oh man, my hair is a deep brown, almost black. It is so obvious if I miss a spot. And it is thick, like cutting a forest down.

I need a mirror and still have to do rub tests. Goddamn trees on my face.

I even went into a laser hair removal place and asked for a quote, and the lady was stunned. She didn’t know how to say it. Yeah, I can’t get away with not shaving and growing a beard sucks.

So I use beard conditioner and hair conditioner to soften it, then use shaving cream and grind on it until I can no longer hear the abrasions of the hair cutting down in my cranium.

And finally, I am ready for the meeting with the client. So I envy you.

Hell, man, I have to shave four hours ahead of time, because my skin is red from the operation. And I have an expensive razor set.

You are lucky.

Well played. You captured the moment with perfection.

Been in IT for 25 years. This is the greatest perk.

I worked for a hospitality company, fortune 500, who had acquired us and had never had an IT department before.

I still have boxes of Cat5e from the wifi installations, who said to pitch the cable into the trash.

I also harvested a switch with just one bad port (48 port cisco catalyst) and when they decided to upgrade the call center with new PCs and were throwing away the old pizza boxes, we were all stuff our cars. I built a cluster, just because, but then started reinstalling Winders XP on them and giving them to friends, family, or selling them dirt cheap to acquaintances.

Cromulent is acceptable. A very non-cromulent word would be irregardless.

It even passes spell checks. Without having no regard? When someone uses that word, they fail my litmus test for intelligence.

Another one that irks me is conversate. You mean converse?

God, Omarchy is so fucking useless. Dude at work was going on about it so I staged it up on a random machine. It isn’t an operating system: it is an AI GUI.

It lasted a good hour before I blew it out. Fucking unusable with no benefit.

Dishwasher at night or very early morning. The power costs are lower.

Starbucks! The coffee practically grinds itself!

It is difficult to shave a face without a mirror, but I know many women do this, as legs don’t require a mirror.

Dude, that is so fucking gross. I pray you are joking.

I knew a dude who claimed he didn’t bother to wipe his ass at all if he was going to get into the shower. Never saw someone blacklisted by his social peers so hard.

But straight up shitting in the shower? Hell, just shit in the kitchen sink. Or outside on the lawn and leave it.

Shit, this girl worked at a police station and got upset, nearly canceled our meetup because I had no criminal record.

When we met up, she refused to go get food or drinks. Instead, she took me to a secluded park and let me know she was carrying two guns.

I said a shootout was a weird first date activity and I would have rather gone bowling. She took me back to the hotel, but offered to get me Taco Bell on the way back.

She then wouldn’t respond the next day, which the entire point of the trip was to go to a museum I wanted to see.

It was my birthday trip and she just happened to be along the route. I went to the museum alone and had a blast.

The responsible thing would be to launder it and then move it into an umbrella company which is based in an off shore account, hire yourself, and then use the earnings from the interest to pay school lunch debts and build shelter for the homeless.

The full version. I saw it on Mtv when I was a kid, maybe 7 or 8, and it altered me.

Ketchup, or catsup, which is the same word latinized differently, was a fish sauce from China.

The western Europeans and American colonists used the recipe, and expanded it to things like mushrooms and many other ingredients. (for proof, look at the ketchup entry on wikipedia).

Tomato ketchup (which is specified on your bottle still today) wasn’t invented until we realized that tomatoes weren’t poisonous despite their color, and their sweetness and tang totally rocked with the ketchup recipe.

Now we use it to eat frenched fries, which aren’t French! In fact, they are Belgian, and are named because they used a cooking technique invented by the French called “frenching” which has evolved into deep frying.

So, you are dipping your belgian potatoes into a chinese sauce that use a North American fruit as a base.

And with this information, you shall father nations!