Every greedy corpo fuck reading this headline: “That’s awesome! How do we market socialism to make a profit?”

If this catches on the first thing you’ll see is influencers pitching socialism merch. We’ll have “socialism awareness month” with a new ribbon color for tying around trees to be part of the clique. A new social media app will launch to connect “social conscious” people (SoCons, maybe?) with ads for Guy Fawkes masks and Factor “community meals” where one dollar of every purchase goes to a non-profit food bank that has a 90% administrative overhead cost. The “Socialist Challenge” appears where you run a mile with no shoes and post it on SoCon to promote socialism awareness. And “buy one get one half off” specials at American Eagle in honor of great socialist leaders like Al Gore and Rosa Parks.

This article counts Bernie Sanders as a socialist, though. This probably follows the same logic as the Democratic party being considered “left” by many people in the US, simply for being less right than the Conservative party.

If someone as right-wing as Bernie Sanders is considered “socialist”, then this article is rather worthless for anybody living outside USA.