I cannot do a damn thing. Be it easy, be it hard, be it rewarding, be it just pure pleasure. I cannot enjoy a thing thinking it is just waste of time. I cannot carry myself to do a hard task thinking about the high effort it requires. Even if I break it into small parts, I would only do the bare minimum for a day or two and stop it.
My entire life is being passed away coming back tired, hungry and yearning for sleep, from a job I dislike to the core.
I am not moving towards my goals. I cannot quit this job. Time is passing. I’m stuck. Weekends cometh, I use them all trying to catch up on sleep.
Every week I’m doing just the bare minimum to survive thinking I might do something on the weekend and I don’t. How do I break out this cycle? There’s a lot more I could unwind upon but this post is already long enough.
Argh
Not a therapist, but you’re also describing anhedonia, one of the more annoying and disabling parts of depression. You really should see if you can get in to see a therapist or psychiatrist, or even your GP to talk about this. Medications work. Therapy can work.
I looked up a bit on anhedonia and it sounds way drastic than I am currently feeling rn. Maybe I do have it or maybe I don’t, idk.
As for the therapist, I really cannot afford one for now. Thanks for your comment tho <3