I cannot do a damn thing. Be it easy, be it hard, be it rewarding, be it just pure pleasure. I cannot enjoy a thing thinking it is just waste of time. I cannot carry myself to do a hard task thinking about the high effort it requires. Even if I break it into small parts, I would only do the bare minimum for a day or two and stop it.
My entire life is being passed away coming back tired, hungry and yearning for sleep, from a job I dislike to the core.
I am not moving towards my goals. I cannot quit this job. Time is passing. I’m stuck. Weekends cometh, I use them all trying to catch up on sleep.
Every week I’m doing just the bare minimum to survive thinking I might do something on the weekend and I don’t. How do I break out this cycle? There’s a lot more I could unwind upon but this post is already long enough.
Argh
I’d like to point out that you have done a single thing: you made this post. Good on you! This is an accomplishment. You have shown that you can do a single thing.
One of the many awful things about depression is how overwhelming it can feel. It feels impossible to deal with all this crap. Yet the way out is to do one single thing at a time. You did a post today. Give yourself credit for that. If you can do one more thing today, go a ahead and do it. If not today, then tomorrow. No zero days. Take a shower. Wash some cloths. Tidy up a bit. Anything. And every single time give yourself credit for the accomplishment. You deserve it.
And, seriously, depression sucks. It’s hard. You don’t have to deal with it alone. You’ve reached out here. Now reach out to a therapist.
Thank you for your very uplifting comment <3
Honestly I am not sure whether I’m depressed or not. Two people here have assumed it without a doubt, so maybe I am depressed. Depression is board concept and I didn’t think I come under the blanket definition of it and identify myself as depressed. I cannot really afford a therapist right now.