I cannot do a damn thing. Be it easy, be it hard, be it rewarding, be it just pure pleasure. I cannot enjoy a thing thinking it is just waste of time. I cannot carry myself to do a hard task thinking about the high effort it requires. Even if I break it into small parts, I would only do the bare minimum for a day or two and stop it.
My entire life is being passed away coming back tired, hungry and yearning for sleep, from a job I dislike to the core.
I am not moving towards my goals. I cannot quit this job. Time is passing. I’m stuck. Weekends cometh, I use them all trying to catch up on sleep.
Every week I’m doing just the bare minimum to survive thinking I might do something on the weekend and I don’t. How do I break out this cycle? There’s a lot more I could unwind upon but this post is already long enough.
Argh
If at all possible, I’d try to arrange for a break.
A lot of this sounds like it may stem from burnout (before getting into any more long-term conditions). Taking a break probably won’t help you see your job in a new light (some jobs simply suck, or aren’t a good fit for people personally), but it could give you time to rest enough to look for other opportunities. However first and foremost any such break should focus on resting and recovery to get you to a better state to just be well and happy.
Once you know you can sort out breaks and recover, you can set aside more time to look for opportunities. Right now it seems almost like this may be among your best options: carve out breaks for yourself to rest and recover. Once you’re feeling better, take time you’ve reclaimed for yourself to seek out opportunities to change jobs and improve your work situation.