I cannot do a damn thing. Be it easy, be it hard, be it rewarding, be it just pure pleasure. I cannot enjoy a thing thinking it is just waste of time. I cannot carry myself to do a hard task thinking about the high effort it requires. Even if I break it into small parts, I would only do the bare minimum for a day or two and stop it.
My entire life is being passed away coming back tired, hungry and yearning for sleep, from a job I dislike to the core.
I am not moving towards my goals. I cannot quit this job. Time is passing. I’m stuck. Weekends cometh, I use them all trying to catch up on sleep.
Every week I’m doing just the bare minimum to survive thinking I might do something on the weekend and I don’t. How do I break out this cycle? There’s a lot more I could unwind upon but this post is already long enough.
Argh
It sounds like you might be describing existential angst or existential dread by a lack of meaning or purpose. If it’s not a medical condition and you’re trying to find fulfillment I would suggest a healthy dose of philosophy books (Socrates’ The Republic is a good starting point, from there follow your curiosity) followed by a couple courses of psilocybin mushrooms if you’re dealing with death anxiety and at least in your 20’s and not prone to psychosis.
Another practical suggestion would be to instead of picking easily obtainable goals carry multiple goals; one for short term stuff that are easily completed, and a long term goal that may not even be possible to achieve. You don’t get the satisfaction of accomplishing the long term goal, but it’s always available for something to strive towards. Traditionally I think these would be things like honing a skill or hobby or trying to be a better person morally than you were before by putting your focus on the needs of others & relationships.