I grew up pre-internet and only embraced it at uni, early www time. I grew up not having a mobile phone because they didn’t exist, went to the local (crappy) library if I wanted a map of the world or to do any form of research. Things most people today can do it seconds involved having to get up, go out, and interact with people one way or another.
I rushed out one day and forgot my phone and headphones. I got about 40m away before realising and thought ‘meh’. Didn’t make any difference to my day.
I look at what I do today, and even typing this wouldn’t really have been possible some 25-30 years ago, unless it was in an email to someone I probably personally knew. I only had read-only access to usenet.
Now, everyone (and any bot) can write text on to another computer that others can be influenced by.
Posts that are clearly attempting to manipulate me are everywhere - propaganda thrived in the newspapers, on the radio, the television, and now internet. He who wins, gets to write history.
Having so much information at my fingertips (both biased and factual) mean I actually need to interact with the world less because any inquisition can be solved within seconds.
So now, I’m actively stepping away from the online and want you encourage you to do it too! I’ve started to read a physical book, ask more people questions forget my phone more often, and take a better look at the world around me, and things are so much more quieter!
“Muh anxieties” have no excuse because I need to forget about them to do stuff.
We’re actually becoming a world of isolated people falling into particular funnels that shape us. Break free now and do something afk that scares you. Put your phone down, leave it at home when you go out, ask a stranger for directions.
You owe no online community anything, especially not your short-lived time.
…huh? i don’t know what that means.
He’s just saying that using Lemmy as a cope for not having IRL friends is healthy.
But, to your point, making friends is easier than you think. Join groups. They’re everywhere. I literally went to a “boardgame play testing” event today and met a lot of cool people.
Things like that are everywhere. You just got a look for them.
oh, uh, sure? that’s an odd thing to reply with when i never implied only having friends on Lemmy or online was healthy… so… alright. i do have friends in person, if we’re going to talk about it. i just still find it rather difficult to make new connections.
Fair. The OP you were responding to was about how people cope with loneliness IRL with pseudo-real online interactions, and you responded with how it’s difficult to find relationships in person.
I agree it’s not necessarily related, but I the guy above was wildly afeild taking your statement as an excuse for why finding relational fulfillment online is an acceptable cope. It was kind of the topic at hand.
But, aside from that, I think making new connections is really just about going out there and doing it. I’m 33 and constantly meet new people, so it’s definitely achievable in your 30’s. Just go to things. Open up Eventbrite or whatever and find something going on that looks like fun, and then just go. There’s a whole world of opportunities out there to meet new people.
look lol, i know. it seems that simple. i have significant mental health issues that complicate things. i wish i could just go. i also don’t value the same people you may do, so finding people i truly get along with is not easy for me.
I know mental health issues complicate things, but that’s something to work on, not an obstacle that can’t be surmounted. I have tons of friends with mental health struggles of all kinds.
But you say that you don’t value the same people I do, but what makes you think so?
As I say, I was at a local boardgame meetup this past weekend. Not exactly a “party” crowd. And to be clear, there’s local meetups for everything under the sun. What do you value in people that you don’t think you could find a social group for? What makes you think finding a group you would vibe with is particularly hard?
yes, but we are all unique, unfortunately. none of them are me with my specific problems. a big part of my struggle is socializing in general.
because i know the reception of the beliefs i hold and they are universally condemned
there aren’t any groups that interest me in my area. i have looked on all the usual places.
I have friends with crippling social anxiety. It’s a lot of work, and they have their ups and downs for sure. But it’s something that they’re working on in therapy and making strides on. It is possible to improve and for things to get better.
I mean, it’s hard to say without knowing exactly what you’re talking about, but universally condemned likely seems strong. But regardless, you said that you don’t value the same people I do. Does that mean you can’t value someone with different beliefs than you?
You say that there aren’t any groups in your area that would interest you. What kind of group would interest you? What group, if you saw it was starting up in your area, would motivate you to go out and meet people?
oh sure, i don’t deny that. i have experienced a lot of positive growth over the years and hope it continues. but i am not financially stable enough to pursue psychiatric and psychological treatment, so… just kinda dealing with it the ways i can.
not necessarily. our differences cannot be significant. it does mean i am far more intolerant than most, though, but on a personal level… not as an outward participant in society. i am pleasant to everyone i meet, but developing a friendship comes with baggage for me. i am less willing to talk to people with the goal of friendship in mind because i largely encounter folks who, frankly, i am better than. and that’s pretty sad because i suck.
it is unlikely i would go because i am unable to attend events solo due to anxiety. if i don’t know anyone i have no security blanket. i am not in the right headspace to tackle this issue at the moment.