• SquirtleHermit@lemmy.world
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    17 days ago

    Guess we just won’t find common ground in this one, I believe it would need to actually be bigoted to be… you know, sexist. It would need to stereotype all (or at least most) men as rapists, or it would need to push for collective blame or punishment towards men, it would need to actually be prejudiced.

    But it just isn’t. It’s literally just trying to communicate to men that this problem is so widespread that it is hindering women’s ability to live without fear. All of the sexism you see in it, is imaginary. And it’s kind of telling on yourself that you think it’s talking about “all men”.

    Women know that most men are not rapist, and they aren’t asking for any rights to be taken away from men to make them feel safer. But they also know that 99% of rapists are men, and 91% of victims are women, that added to the aforementioned 1 in 6~ women that will have been raped in their lifetime means they are gambling just being alone with a man. And remaining one of the 5 out of 6 requires never ending vigilance.

    It’s not sexist to acknowledge those facts, and it’s not sexist for women to not want to put themselves in situations where they can’t get help. Since Choosing the Bear is literally just trying to spread awareness of this dilemma women live with everyday, and is in no way saying that all men are the problem, its disingenuous to call it sexist.

    And if your grand argument is that bringing attention to sexual assault in ways that men may take offense to is the real problem, well all I can say is you are repeating the bullshit arguments thrown at the oppressed during the civil rights movement, during women’s suffrage, and countless other fights for rights and safety. You are siding with rapists feelings. You, not women, are saying it attacks all men. And you are part of the problem. You are killing the conversation around sexual assault to inject how it affects your feelings. So please understand me when I say you need to get over yourself.

    Honestly, I don’t think I’ll return to this conversation, you disappoint me, and frankly I’ve lost respect for you as a person. Blaming women trying to convey their fears as responsible for Trump, and claiming it is sexist to acknowledge their fears is just pathetic. If people really voted for Trump to get back at women for not talking about sexual assault in their preferred manner, fuck those people.

    edit: lol, I also just realized you basically implied you would tell a Jewish person “not all Nazi’s”. Fuck you man

    • pixxelkick@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      But they also know that 99% of rapists are men, and 91% of victims are women, that added to the aforementioned 1 in 6~ women that will have been raped in their lifetime means they are gambling just being alone with a man.

      1 in 6 sexually assaulted, not raped, to start. Which is still way too high but don’t get it twisted.

      Second, these 2 numbers actually have no functional relation to the odds of a random man being a rapist.

      If you have 1000 people (500/500 men/women) and 1 of them is a rapist, and a man, you could say “100% of the rapists in this group are men”

      Which is true, but what you actually care about is, in that case, only 1/500 of men in that crowd are a rapist.

      As for the 1/6 women are assaulted, it’s a similiar issue.

      If that 1 man proceeds to rape 50 women, you now could say (and be totally correct) that:

      • 100% of the crowds rapists are men
      • 100% of the victims were women
      • 1 in 10 women got raped

      But all of that actually is missing the fact that in reality, if one of those women picked a man at random to be alone with, it’d only be a 1 in 500 chance she got the rapist.

      Now. These are obviously hyperbole facts to demonstrate the mathematical hole.

      Let’s find out the actual number then…

      David Lisak’s research probably gives us the best estimate at around 1 in 16. Which is still quite high, but it is also very far away from numbers like “91%” or “1 in 6”

      So now you’re looking at a 1 in 16 chance of a randomly selected man being sexually violent.

      This suddenly starts to demonstrate how the “I’d choose the bear” statement comes across as sexist.

      Because choosing a bear signals a vastly hyperinflated representation of the risk of a man.

      This is, indeed, sexist. You’re taking the actions of a small minority of men and casting their actions over the average.

      That, my friend, is textbook bigotry.

      The reality is the vast vast majority of men (~94%) aren’t sexually violent and perfectly normal people who would be helpful and good to have around for survival.

      If you seriously don’t see casting the 6%'s actions as a negative generalization on the other 94% as sexist, then I think you gotta go reflect on that for a bit.