I think you could try to find a different, new source of self worth to replace it with. It is probably hard to remove something from your concept of ‘self-worth’ if there isn’t anything to replace it with. Adding things to the source also gives you something to focus on/say when you’re next feeling bad about (the lack of) external reward/validation. There are many options, I’ll try to list a few I’ve heard. Perhaps some sound better/easier/more true than others:
People are intrinsically worthwhile and valuable. (Some religions assert this directly.)
The things you will do in the future. (Seems like toddlers have a lot of self-worth sometimes. I like to imagine this is the source.)
The things you want to do.
Being able to do things that make you happy. (Can be hedonism.)
The things you will never do. (Negative utilitarian, in some sense. You have worth for not being harmful.)
Your relationships with others. (Pets count!)
The validation and achievements that your communities/tribes have earned.
The virtues you have developed. (Stoic.)
The difficult things you have survived.
You do things in a way that would, statistically, result in achievements and validation. You should value yourself for the expected value, rather than the specifics of today.
I want to go to sleep excited for the next day. I used to be motivated by my goals. But goals are hard to achieve and I haven’t felt happy in the past after reaching some of my goals.
I want to enjoy being me without having to work for it.
I think you could try to find a different, new source of self worth to replace it with. It is probably hard to remove something from your concept of ‘self-worth’ if there isn’t anything to replace it with. Adding things to the source also gives you something to focus on/say when you’re next feeling bad about (the lack of) external reward/validation. There are many options, I’ll try to list a few I’ve heard. Perhaps some sound better/easier/more true than others:
I want to go to sleep excited for the next day. I used to be motivated by my goals. But goals are hard to achieve and I haven’t felt happy in the past after reaching some of my goals.
I want to enjoy being me without having to work for it.
Thanks for your reply.