Tbf, I’d rather appear dumb than a condescending asshole. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely times when condescension is an effective approach to challenging assholes in conversation, but if the person using condescension was the same person who made an offensive joke, then I feel like that would just be digging themselves deeper.
Like, if someone is open about being slow to understanding stuff, and says something like “yes, I often do ask people to explain things when I don’t understand them. It usually doesn’t pose a problem”, then that negates a bunch of the power of the condescension
Here’s the way I see it; you’ve got two kinds of assholes. Amateurs and professionals. The amateur is the dumb Boomer who is still making jokes that were funny in 1987. That person might be stilled by the dumb approach.
I gave the professional’s answer; a professional has thought about what they are going to say and has a few zingers in the bag.
The way to deal with a pro is to wait until they’ve over extended themselves, and then strike hard and fast.
Here’s a true story. I was transferred to a different department and was still getting my bearings. There was one fellow who was senior to me who considered himself a great wit. I let him run his mouth for a while. He happened to like laying all the way back in his chair, setting it almost flat like he was laying on the beach. I happened by while he had some folks near him and he started in. I asked why he had his seat back like that? Was he waiting for someone to rub their b#lls in his face?
Guy never bothered me again.
The lesson is know who you’re dealing with, and use the proper approach.
Tbf, I’d rather appear dumb than a condescending asshole. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely times when condescension is an effective approach to challenging assholes in conversation, but if the person using condescension was the same person who made an offensive joke, then I feel like that would just be digging themselves deeper.
Like, if someone is open about being slow to understanding stuff, and says something like “yes, I often do ask people to explain things when I don’t understand them. It usually doesn’t pose a problem”, then that negates a bunch of the power of the condescension
Here’s the way I see it; you’ve got two kinds of assholes. Amateurs and professionals. The amateur is the dumb Boomer who is still making jokes that were funny in 1987. That person might be stilled by the dumb approach.
I gave the professional’s answer; a professional has thought about what they are going to say and has a few zingers in the bag.
The way to deal with a pro is to wait until they’ve over extended themselves, and then strike hard and fast.
Here’s a true story. I was transferred to a different department and was still getting my bearings. There was one fellow who was senior to me who considered himself a great wit. I let him run his mouth for a while. He happened to like laying all the way back in his chair, setting it almost flat like he was laying on the beach. I happened by while he had some folks near him and he started in. I asked why he had his seat back like that? Was he waiting for someone to rub their b#lls in his face?
Guy never bothered me again.
The lesson is know who you’re dealing with, and use the proper approach.