Is a planner not where most people construct their daily lists and otherwise plan their approaches to upcoming events? It’s not a stretch to say that using a planner involves… Making lists? Daily?
I did not suggest that a planner or list would fix their executive dysfunction. I suggested that their analogy, telling a person in a wheelchair to just stand up and telling people with dyslexia just read what’s on the paper, isn’t the same as what the other person was saying. Making lists is a thing that “can” help people with ADHD (I even put can in bold back in that other comment). I did not say, Ledivin, YOUR life would be solved if you just made lists. To your other point on this thread, I’m also not telling people to smile to cure their depression. I bet it feels like that for you both often and I understand the frustration that comes with that but that was not coming from either of us, that’s (probably) coming from your past interactions with others.
That other comment (not mine, I was being snarky with my “go off” bit so I reasonably expected the response I got) was just some words of encouragement and a small generalized suggestion. Nothing more than a “keep your head up” type thing, at least that’s how I read it.
telling a person in a wheelchair to just stand up and telling people with dyslexia just read what’s on the paper
Have you ever considered that there are actually cases where people in wheelchairs regain partial motor function in their legs by going through rigorous physical therapy and training the muscles to bear weight again? It’s on the less common side, but it applies to some folks.
Additionally, a good portion of children with dyslexia grow out of it as their ability to process text develops over time, through constant reading.
I know these situations are much larger in magnitude, but can’t you see how a solution for some is not a good suggestion for others? If I told someone with dyslexia to read more, odds are they will be irritated, even if it might be their solution.
Suggesting a list for those with executive dysfunction may be a reasonable thing, objectively, but it can come off as uninvolved or ignorant for someone who has tried to utilize lists hundreds (if not thousands) of times in their life. I think it would be better received if you suggested writing one or two tasks down at a time, at least. A list of two items is hardly a list and is more approachable, and if it doesn’t work for someone then it doesn’t feel like much of a commitment/time waste.
I get that the hostile responses feel bad… But wouldn’t you also feel bad if you were struggling with anxiety and someone told you to “just relax”? At the very least they should suggest a means to relax and not just… Tell you to.
Have some empathy for the frustrated and suggest a means of setting and working towards goals without downright suggesting a list, maybe.
Reading your response I believe there is a misunderstanding between us and it’s easily possible I didn’t write my last comment clearly or I’m just misunderstanding some of yours. Keep in mind, the focus of my first comment is on the sarcastic analogy in the response to the original “write a list” comment. I did a little bit of defending of that list statement a couple times already but I don’t want to keep defending their comment for them since I didn’t write it and it’s not my place to speak for them. They’ve responded here already and have been kinder than I have.
That said, I still believe the analogies used don’t line up with what was commented. I think a more accurate thing would be if the original comment said something like “Just do your tasks!”. That doesn’t tell you how to tackle anything, it gives no actionable advice. Saying to someone in a wheelchair “Just stand up!” is the same to me - It’s the end goal, just saying to DO the end goal is not real advice and is often deserving of a sarcastic “why didn’t I think of that” reply, since that’s exactly what they’re trying to do. I think I should have used that example instead of “keep it in your head” in my other reply, I think it’s more clear what I meant that way.
Have you ever considered that there are actually cases where people in wheelchairs regain partial motor function in their legs by going through rigorous physical therapy and training the muscles to bear weight again?
Yes, but that’s not “just standing up”. I think if you equate rigorous physical therapy to seeing a therapist and training the muscles to bear weight to some other proven tool for people with ADHD that would be a fair analogy and probably ok advice in both cases.
I know these situations are much larger in magnitude, but can’t you see how a solution for some is not a good suggestion for others? If I told someone with dyslexia to read more, odds are they will be irritated, even if it might be their solution.
Of course, I agree with you. Now I know nothing about treating dyslexia, so I’ll go with what you said that a good portion of children with dyslexia grow out of it through constant reading. If that’s the case, is it not fair to suggest that a child should try to read more? Not the “just read the paper!” idea, but give some tip about reading? In that case, is it really appropriate to poo-poo real techniques with a sarcastic response because it didn’t work for you specifically?
I get that the hostile responses feel bad… But wouldn’t you also feel bad if you were struggling with anxiety and someone told you to “just relax”?
Just to be clear, I’m not hurt by the response. I saw what I read as an overly sarcastic reply to a reasonably good-willed comment and so in my response I was snarky. In doing so, I know that if I don’t communicate my point well, if I’m plain wrong, if the general community disagrees with me, or hell if they just don’t like my attitude, that it can result in that type of response and so I was saying I “reasonably expected” it. I’m also fine with it and it was really that person I replied to defending themselves anyway.
Like I said in the last comment, I read the original bit as a half throwaway “Keep your head up” type comment. When someone’s sick, people tell them to feel better. If the response to “feel better” is “WELL GOLLY, WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THAT?! MY LIFE IS CHANGED” what do you expect people to say after? Trust me, I empathize with the struggles everyone goes through. People have given me advice that did fuck all, and I’ve given the same, nobody has all the answers.
Interesting how that’s not what I or the other person commented.
Is a planner not where most people construct their daily lists and otherwise plan their approaches to upcoming events? It’s not a stretch to say that using a planner involves… Making lists? Daily?
I did not suggest that a planner or list would fix their executive dysfunction. I suggested that their analogy, telling a person in a wheelchair to just stand up and telling people with dyslexia just read what’s on the paper, isn’t the same as what the other person was saying. Making lists is a thing that “can” help people with ADHD (I even put can in bold back in that other comment). I did not say, Ledivin, YOUR life would be solved if you just made lists. To your other point on this thread, I’m also not telling people to smile to cure their depression. I bet it feels like that for you both often and I understand the frustration that comes with that but that was not coming from either of us, that’s (probably) coming from your past interactions with others.
That other comment (not mine, I was being snarky with my “go off” bit so I reasonably expected the response I got) was just some words of encouragement and a small generalized suggestion. Nothing more than a “keep your head up” type thing, at least that’s how I read it.
Have you ever considered that there are actually cases where people in wheelchairs regain partial motor function in their legs by going through rigorous physical therapy and training the muscles to bear weight again? It’s on the less common side, but it applies to some folks.
Additionally, a good portion of children with dyslexia grow out of it as their ability to process text develops over time, through constant reading.
I know these situations are much larger in magnitude, but can’t you see how a solution for some is not a good suggestion for others? If I told someone with dyslexia to read more, odds are they will be irritated, even if it might be their solution.
Suggesting a list for those with executive dysfunction may be a reasonable thing, objectively, but it can come off as uninvolved or ignorant for someone who has tried to utilize lists hundreds (if not thousands) of times in their life. I think it would be better received if you suggested writing one or two tasks down at a time, at least. A list of two items is hardly a list and is more approachable, and if it doesn’t work for someone then it doesn’t feel like much of a commitment/time waste.
I get that the hostile responses feel bad… But wouldn’t you also feel bad if you were struggling with anxiety and someone told you to “just relax”? At the very least they should suggest a means to relax and not just… Tell you to.
Have some empathy for the frustrated and suggest a means of setting and working towards goals without downright suggesting a list, maybe.
Reading your response I believe there is a misunderstanding between us and it’s easily possible I didn’t write my last comment clearly or I’m just misunderstanding some of yours. Keep in mind, the focus of my first comment is on the sarcastic analogy in the response to the original “write a list” comment. I did a little bit of defending of that list statement a couple times already but I don’t want to keep defending their comment for them since I didn’t write it and it’s not my place to speak for them. They’ve responded here already and have been kinder than I have.
That said, I still believe the analogies used don’t line up with what was commented. I think a more accurate thing would be if the original comment said something like “Just do your tasks!”. That doesn’t tell you how to tackle anything, it gives no actionable advice. Saying to someone in a wheelchair “Just stand up!” is the same to me - It’s the end goal, just saying to DO the end goal is not real advice and is often deserving of a sarcastic “why didn’t I think of that” reply, since that’s exactly what they’re trying to do. I think I should have used that example instead of “keep it in your head” in my other reply, I think it’s more clear what I meant that way.
Yes, but that’s not “just standing up”. I think if you equate rigorous physical therapy to seeing a therapist and training the muscles to bear weight to some other proven tool for people with ADHD that would be a fair analogy and probably ok advice in both cases.
Of course, I agree with you. Now I know nothing about treating dyslexia, so I’ll go with what you said that a good portion of children with dyslexia grow out of it through constant reading. If that’s the case, is it not fair to suggest that a child should try to read more? Not the “just read the paper!” idea, but give some tip about reading? In that case, is it really appropriate to poo-poo real techniques with a sarcastic response because it didn’t work for you specifically?
Just to be clear, I’m not hurt by the response. I saw what I read as an overly sarcastic reply to a reasonably good-willed comment and so in my response I was snarky. In doing so, I know that if I don’t communicate my point well, if I’m plain wrong, if the general community disagrees with me, or hell if they just don’t like my attitude, that it can result in that type of response and so I was saying I “reasonably expected” it. I’m also fine with it and it was really that person I replied to defending themselves anyway.
Like I said in the last comment, I read the original bit as a half throwaway “Keep your head up” type comment. When someone’s sick, people tell them to feel better. If the response to “feel better” is “WELL GOLLY, WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THAT?! MY LIFE IS CHANGED” what do you expect people to say after? Trust me, I empathize with the struggles everyone goes through. People have given me advice that did fuck all, and I’ve given the same, nobody has all the answers.