I’m trying to learn more about the feeling that I’m not doing something right and that my priorities are wrong because I’m not considering the full picture.
It feels like I have something I need to do, but I don’t know what it is, but it’s gonna bite me in the ass when I realize it.
Do you all have any techniques or ways of thinking that help you evaluate where you actually stand in terms of doing all the things you need to do?
How do you go through your life and re-priorotize?
How do you feel confident in thinking I don’t have to do anything right now? I can just rest or do what I want?
I use a bullet journal, the original Rider Carrol method: No advance planning, just dump your brain into ink and paper, organize what’s there, index what’s important so you can find it later, eliminate unfulfilled tasks that aren’t as important, move important tasks to today’s list.
It’s not perfect but it’s very resilient and works well with my brain. And if I don’t use it your a day or a month or a year it still works fine when I come back, it doesn’t require consistency.
I strong second this. The data dump and end /start of day review is what I do and it is very helpful. To be honest, I check my journal constantly and it is quite common to spot something I forgot that I had literally written down an hour before.
Do you have any readings/resources you’d recommend on this?
Right now I’m using TickTick but I loaded it up with so many things, most of which will be abandoned and never cleaned up. Eventually my lists will get too messy and I’ll abandon the software. And the cycle continues lol
The best resource, in my opinion, is Ryder’s own book, The Bullet Journal Method.
EDIT: My journal tech is literally a notebook and a pencil. Simple, tactile and readily available is what I need. Apps, in my opinion, add to the problem rather than help.
Perfect, thank you!
I currently use a plain old brown bound journal for occasional reflective writing and there’s something about the physical act of pen to paper that helps me calm down so this may be the way. I’ll check out the book.
(Not adhd here)
This method is great, extremely flexible and applicable in many areas.
On the practical side, I found that using something is determined by more than just being practical. Initially I started with the Todoist app. It has both the data dump function, prioritizing functionality, calendar. Perfect.
I also often used random pieces of paper to brainstorm better, I find physicality to be important for longer lists.
Somehow, though, the list format doesn’t always click for me and I over time pivoted to Google Calendar. I find it easy to just dump new events for tomorrow/next Monday and then organize them when I get there. The recurrences are easier to visualize too. And I can at a glance look at a given day and figure out I will not make it to the end of the pile and restructure. I also keep “the past” organized and looking at all the tasks completed gives a boost of motivation.
I love the idea of dumping stuff into Monday and then dealing with it when you get there.
I overscheduled myself out too much in advance and I never stick to that schedule, which adds to the feeling of failure/defeat. Especially for both my work and work style, I think dumping it somewhere (like the coming Monday) and then sorting it out when I get there may work better.
Appreciate your post!
It feels really great to be done with stuff and pick off an extra one from “the future”.
I hope it helps you out!
Thanks. This does seem like a helpful method, and, pardon the pun, fairly bulletproof.
If I brain dump into the journal, then I’ll feel less anxious. However, a big part of my anxiety is that I have many other apps and to-do lists floating around at the same time as using the bullet journal.
Journaling for sure. I share this story and teach my clients this technique; one question so simple yet so effective that it helped a British rowing team win Olympic gold. This question didn’t just shape their training and teamwork; it became a guiding principle for how they approached every decision. So, what was the question? “Will it make the boat go faster?”
The story begins back in the 1990s. The British rowing team hadn’t won a gold medal since 1912. They weren’t favorites for the Olympics and hadn’t been on the winning track for a long time. But when the team started preparing for the 2000 Sydney Olympics, they embraced a single, unifying question—one that would change everything.
Their guiding principle was rooted in “implementation intentions,” a concept in performance psychology where you prepare for tough situations in advance. It’s a strategy that strengthens mental resilience, enabling you to stick to your goals even when things get hard. So, instead of just visualizing winning, the rowing team focused on every challenge that could come their way. With every decision, big or small, they asked themselves, “Will it make the boat go faster?”
Imagine someone invites you to a party the night before early practice. You’re exhausted from training all week, and a night out sounds tempting. But then, you ask, “Will it make the boat go faster?” If the answer is no, the decision is no. They chose actions aligned with their goal.
Some might say that kind of mindset is intense, maybe even extreme. But if you’re truly serious about reaching a meaningful goal, that level of commitment becomes essential. This mindset fueled the team, strengthened their unity, and inspired them to push harder than ever. And, ultimately, they won. The British rowing team didn’t just win; they crushed the competition in Sydney and brought home Olympic gold.
Joe De Sena, founder of Spartan Race, once said that while this approach might seem intense, it’s exactly what it takes to achieve greatness. Imagine competing against someone who makes every choice with that kind of clarity. Someone whose every action aligns with a clear purpose. These people are focused, disciplined, and intentional, and they make an impact because they’re moving toward something bigger.
For every decision, ask yourself, would it make my boat go faster? It keeps you grounded and focused without the anxiety of feeling something is missing.
I’ll be happy to assist and provide tools for free.
This reads like the kind of story used by office bosses to motivate their employees to work harder.
I’ve given up on being caught up. If I am in a super clear minded state, I will do the most important thing. If I’m motivated but not clear-headed, I do anything that feels important. If I’m in a normal state of mind, I just do the core tasks for keeping the show running: I do my job, I make food, I browse Lemmy. And I pray that I haven’t procrastinated anything too important.
That gives me so much anxiety, being in that current state and feeling like I forgot something.
Yeah ive accepted ill never be caught up.
All you can focus on is The Now. The Now is all powerful and its all there is. So do what you need to or can do now.
Flaming lips said “all we have is now” so you agree! I’ll try.
Over the years, I adopted a few tools to help me manage what feels like “open drawers” in my head :
-
When a task I need to do spontaneously pop in my head and it’s not urgent, I write it on my whiteboard on my wall. If I’m not home, I quickly put it in my notes app. Then, and it’s the crucial trick, I forget about it. That way, I can focus on the task(s) at hand and just organize my future tasks later, instead of juggling with them all at once.
This helped me compartimentalize a lot and I found myself being able to feel free during the day here and there and on most nights, instead of being a sack of anxiety 24/7. -
When I consolidate my tasks, I use a card system like Trello. (I don’t recommend Trello specifically, it seems to have enshittified.) I keep it mostly pen-and-paper, but I’m sure there are some FOSS tools you can find that do just that.
A card system was a revelation for me, being able to do a quick assessment of when a task is due and put it in the right column was a game changer. I’m the type to do everything at the last minute, so putting up little deadlines everywhere helped me do more. -
This could not be helpful for you, but I take ADHD medication. The first one I tried for a few months, but it made me even more anxious. I then stopped taking anything, but decided after a year to try another molecule. This time, I found my dosage and it definitely worked.
Before that, even with my calendar, tools, alarms and support system, there were weeks to months where I felt lost in thought, apathetic and disorganized. Now I can post a lengthy answer to a topic close to my heart without feeling like I’m not doing enough with my day.
Side tips :
- If I can break down a big task into smaller ones, I do that. That way, they never feel insurmontable. Plus, every few minutes I can cross something off my list and feel a motivation boost.
- If I just did something that wasn’t even on my list, I write it on the list and I immediately cross it off it. It tricks me into feeling like I did a lot, and it works even though I’m aware it’s a trick.
Good luck on the journey, I wish you the best!
Planka is like Trello was 5 years ago, fyi. Foss and self-hostable.
Thanks for the shout-out recommendation! I use the nextcloud boards function for Trello, sort of.
It looks good, thanks!
How do you remember to do all this?
For medication, an alarm on my phone. For writing the tasks, it became an habit when I realized it would flush anxiety from my system to write what I just thought about doing and stop thinking about it. For remembering I need to do tasks, I put my whiteboard on a very obvious and accessible place and keep a pocket notebook and a pen in my pocket.
But mostly, it became an habit like reading emails or opening Lemmy, to just look at them and assess the time requirement to do them. When I am a few hours before a deadline, the pressure to do the task becomes clear and I hyperfocus on it until it’s done. Maybe not the most efficient way to work, but it worked for me!
Thank you! This is very helpful!
I forget about the tasks in the app too, but then I get this dread where I don’t want to look at them.
-
