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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 28th, 2023

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  • It’s a neverending process. 😄 I’ve been at this for some 3-4 years now, and was ready to delete WhatsApp only about 6 months ago, and it’s already left me out of some local groups. Worth it though, and one group moved with me. And just now in the process of hopefully moving from Graphene to PostmarketOS (functional on an OP6) or Ubuntu Touch (to be installed on a FP4), just a matter of deciding which one. In retrospect, I could have skipped this Graphene phase and just gone from Divest to Linux, but I wasn’t ready then.

    IMHO if you try to do things before it feels like “okay this works, next I want to try…”, you’re likely to just get overwhelmed and take a step back.


    1. “Easy and painless” depends on your point of view, and we here tend to be biased. For example, just a couple of months ago I had to explain to “a normal person” how to make backup copies of a folder to a pen drive. She did not want additional backup software (and I still don’t know if W10 would have had the functionality out-of-the-box). Copypasting files was too difficult. In the end she decided to go with “save as”, which sounded like a horrible idea to me, since she’couldn’t remember how to open anything in Word that wasn’t in the recently used list when starting the software, and she is going to lose track of which file is which at some point. I doubt it would be “easy and painless” for people like her, who are very common outside our little bubble.

    2. Making someone change their opinion is not a sprint, but a marathon. State your opinion openly when relevant, don’t get into an argument, let it brew, mention it again when it comes up, live as you “preach”. That person I mentioned? Happily using Signal with me. Eager(!) to try Linux once W10 support runs out. I’ve told her I’ll install Mint DE on my laptop and loan it to her for unhurried testing and learning this summer while having her familiar backup to lean on if it gets difficult, and to install the same on her own computer when the support runs out, if she still wants me to.





  • As a woman who’s been that down: IMHO you can just empathize, but admit you don’t have the capacity to deal with her needs. That you wish her well, but for your own mental health, you can’t be her rock. She may well know she has trust and relationship issues, and is telling you for the very reason that she wants you to walk away now if you can’t cope, rather than break her heart later.

    Of course it’s also possible she’s has a personality disorder, rather than “just” depression, anxiety and trauma. So don’t let yourself be guilted back.

    In any case, for both your sakes, and I hope this does not need saying: No sex.

    Edit: Based on your responses you’re barely acquaintances. No action necessary, just let it drop.



  • You clearly stated you didn’t want to have someone comb through you papers and argue, and their value as evidence is obvious to anyone who bothers to take a look, so the reaction of “nothing will come out of continuing this conversation” is quite understandable. I returned to say thank you for posting sources, but since you seem to take this as some kind of “stunned them to silence”…

    The first two sources apparently refer to the same study; Okami 1995 is mostly literature review, methods, and intermediary results, while Okami 1998 is the final results.

    Okami 1995: “Consistent with the cross-sectional retrospective literature (and with our expectations), no harmful main effects of these experiences were found at age 17-18. […] Taken as a whole then, effects are few, but generally beneficial in nature.”

    Okami 1998: “No harmful “main effect” correlates of the predictor variables were found.”

    So I fail to see how they’d support your point.

    The last one, the Yahoo article, is not a study nor does it refer to any.

    Okami 1998 also had a link to Lewis 1988, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3421828/: “The results suggest that childhood experiences with exposure to nudity and sleeping in the parental bed are not adversely related to adult sexual functioning and adjustment. In fact, there is modest support that these childhood experiences are positively related to indices of adjustment.”

    Recognition of pre-existing bias: I’m Finnish, and this felt like an attack on family saunas.





  • Depends on what kind of relationship you have, which I think in turn tends to depend on the age and the sex of the children, among other things.

    A 14-year-old boy, yeah, rather gross, especially if he is uncomfortable or sucks at expressing their affection any other way on other days.

    Me, a 40+ year old woman who has a warm relationship with my mom, now with an additional layer of “two old ladies”, and a history of dirty jokes: Nah, I hope she got a chuckle out of the pic (I visited a week early, didn’t think of making something like this).






  • Ehhh.

    As much as the traditition of yearly votes on some version of Chat Control sucks, it’s just two mentions (The Register missed the reference to COM (2022) 209 under “Fighting serious crimes/child sexual abuse”, because of course it’d be there) in a document with way juicier tidbits. Like

    • actual enforcement of the DSA (finally some consequences for social media giants gleefully profiting from manipulation, or an affront to freedom of speech, depending on your opinion)
    • overhauling Europol’s mandate to make it “a truly operational police agency”, whereas the current mandate doesn’t cover such things as “sabotage, hybrid threats or information manipulation” (cool or creepy)
    • “strengthening border security”, “countering weaponised migration”, “security considerations in EU visa policy”, and “revision of the Visa Suspension Mechanism” are all probably necessary steps, but taken together paint a picture of something that shouldn’t be allowed to go too far

    The DSA enforcement is something strongly opposed by social media giants, so I’d expect more denigration of the document as a whole in the future.


  • Hate is such a strong word. Some bad, some good.

    Bad:

    • Copyright infringement and other unethical practices in acquiring training data
    • Unimaginative AI art flooding the graphics market and the Internet
    • Taking work from actual artists that might generate something new
    • So much energy used on pointless, quickly forgotten “single-use art” in the middle of a climate crisis

    Good:

    • Okay starting point for logos for eg. small associations or clubs, preferably treated as version 0.1 and later worked on, but still an affordable option, and more personalised than clipart
    • Creative visual outlet for people with no interest in developing their graphical skills, but who have an urge to get a small number of specific images out of their system
    • Probably a good media for some commentary on the relationship between real a unreal, familiar and alien cognition, and such, but that itself is such a cliche
    • Simply a fun toy