I’d be so embarrassed

I like to piss in that guy’s gas tank

Where does he come up with this shit?

Seriously, that takes a seriously fucked up brain to seriously consider and then say out loud.

Murdering starts promptly at 8:00 in the morning

I’m assuming that’s local time, the note isn’t very specific

It just sounds weird

Still technically correct, but weird.

Reminds me of how foreign spies were caught during the cold war because they couldn’t pronounce certain words or formulate sentences with words in a customary order

I’ve only ever heard chemists say de-ionized, not un-ionized

Art of the fuck up

Boeing: Oh, you want a plane now? No problem. We thought you wanted one that actually flew

So no surgeries at all then?

RIP kids

Next up: Trump declares Greenland a terrorist organization

It seems like it’s kept in the same binder Trump keeps his healthcare plan and his plan to end the war in Ukraine

Trump just wants to be president, he doesn’t want to do president

Trump seeks federal law overriding state’s rights?

I feel like I’ve heard a complaint or two about this before…but from where?

The system didn’t fail them, voters did.

If being convicted of 34 felony counts of fraud and civil liability for rape did nothing to persuade voters then there was nothing Jack Smith could have done to change their minds either.

The memos are coming from inside the house!

Isn’t there a TSMC plant in Arizona and the chips act also bolstered Intel as well?

I drink brass monkey and I rock well

It’s only the Gulf of America in the United States lol

Ever wonder what Trump is going to do on any particular issue?

Whatever the right thing to do is, expect him to do the opposite of that.