Only if mine sounds like Nathan Fillion

WOOO!! WE’RE #1!!! USA! USA! USA! 🇺🇸 🦅 🍔

(I hate this country)

True. It was 80 today and it’ll be in the 30s the rest of the week.

Life really is suffering.

Right? Going somewhere is bad and it ruins coming home.

Travel is annoying and everywhere has a weird smell.

To be fair, immigrants kinda ruined this place starting in 1492.

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Every one of these sounds like he’s trying to talk to the manager

If they made ads unobtrusive they wouldn’t be able to charge as much for them.

I’ll go back to buying porn in person with cash.

If I actually thought it would happen I’d be helping them too. Imagine how nice everything will be when they’re gone.

Don’t want anyone finding out about your ladybugs, right Senator?

Hmm yes the Americans are made of American.

6 x 7 = 42

The kids are alright.

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Alabama is humid as hell and tropical islands are notoriously hard to get to

The weather must be fucking AMAZING

More proof I am not American no matter where I live.

Imagine having an actually Scottish Scotty

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