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Cake day: July 30th, 2023

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  • The Y2K38 Epochalypse bug hit 2 years early due to Microsoft’s rushed implementation of Windows Subsystem for Linux under CEO Elon Musk, causing all newer systems running Windows to combust due to a combination of the bug, and a cyberattack on Musk’s new chip fab plant in the state of Mexas. The only widespread choices after that are WacOS and Ubuntrue, both parent companies owned by Elon Musk after winning in his presidential prelection in 2026 and removing all antitrust legislation. However there is a hobbyist Unix distribution still being passed around called Briarch that fixed the 2038 problem in 2025 when development started, but you have to be in close proximity to someone with it to get it, which is easy in the country of California but not as easy east of the Nutah border, you really have to trust someone to even ask if they have it.




  • First sentence of the article:

    NSO Group, the maker of one the world’s most sophisticated cyber weapons, has been ordered by a US court to hand its code for Pegasus and other spyware products to WhatsApp as part of the company’s ongoing litigation.

    NSO Group has been ordered to hand over the Pegasus malware code that allows them to silently infect phones via WhatsApp, so Meta can fix it. This isn’t NSO Group being forced to hand over WhatsApp source code.

    There will be at most 5 software developers who have access to the code, on a non-networked machine, surrounded by a group of lawyers the entire time. No one will have the ability to leak the Pegasus code. After that, it will probably be handed to the random mormon-looking plainclothes guy nobody in the room can figure out, who will take it back to the NSA so they can scour it for any non-WhatsApp 0days they don’t already have.

    It’s worth noting that NSO Group is an Israeli company, as are many ‘legal’ entities of hacking software and hardware used by many nations.