If the two people are being loud as fuck and obnoxious, then yeah I’ll probably take a dig at them and ask them to pipe down.

But people on the phone take it to a whole nother level. Last year I was in a Starbucks and some douche on his phone was going into graphic detail about the girl he brought home. I asked him to take that conversation outside and when he told me to fuck off and mind my own business the barista straight up kicked his ass out.

My favorite bit to pull out has always been “You know what I always looked forward to about owning my own home? All the fucking rules that come with it about what I’m allowed to put in the yard or paint it. Sign me up!”

He was a clear and present threat to property values everywhere!

(That is the sole reason shit like this exists today. HoAs came about originally to keep nonwhites out of the neighborhood and now we’re stuck with them.)

https://youtu.be/ZS9ppteaqJ4

Hey now, we also use it to advertise shitty 1-800 law firms.