my wife’s family told my wife i couldn’t spend xmas day with them (and my 3 kids <6). i told both our families i have a fear of being alone. i have a fear of being alone with my thoughts. i keep forgetting my meds, to drink water, to eat food. everyone left me alone for xmas. what the hell? im still here at home, 2 days later, alone, wondering when they’ll come home. i am hurt. i am over being angry. i am tired. i am sad. i am so confused. i want the thoughts to stop. i want the pain to stop. why are they so cruel?

oh , wow. that , is different.

yeah. i get it. i ask my self sometimes, who am i?

mine is good - but i don’t have any comparison. but, there’s just not enough time, there never is, and it is expensive. i used to go a lot more regular when i was able to easily afford it. but autism burnout. early oct i quit. i’m not sure i can do that ever again. no one understands. its so hard.

i did this today. then I got the ‘do we have another appointment booked’ - ah whoops, times up, i don’t. which means it’s a long wait till the next one - doh. i needed more inputs to make it to the next appointment! Christmas is going to be challenging.

That looks tasty. I have recently (as in last week) been baking bread in our panasonic bread maker, haven’t used it in years but it’s been a hit with the younglings. This makes me want to up my bread game 😆