The joke, if you paid attention, is that the trans agenda isnāt a thing. Theyāre just trying to survive. So yeah, not supporting someoneās right to exist is some psychopathic behavior.
The fact thay you think thereās a trans agenda outside of just trying to survive doesnāt make you a psychopath, but it does make you an idiot.
Now that doctors and parents en masse know trans people are a thing, if a child shows signs of gender dysphoria in early childhood, therapy is in order.
If the therapist determines the child is probably trans, and the (male) child insists they donāt want to grow up as a man, or vice versa, or whatever, and the parents feel like itās not going to change and theyāre more concerned with the childās happiness than with some religious conviction or conservative values they may be clinging toā¦
The child should be given puberty blockers, which studies have shown do NOT cause irreversible damage.
As the child becomes a teenager and the situation stays the sameā¦ eventually it becomes obvious that some form of puberty needs to happen, and a choice has to be made. Usually this happens around 14 - 16 I believe.
Itās a tough decision, with many people involved, and the end result will be permanent irreversible changes to the teenagerās (soon to be adultās) body.
If you force the child to go through a puberty they donāt want, you fuck them upā¦ forever.
You destroy their life in a lot of ways. You condemn them to a life of harassment and rejection and isolation. Your own child.
This isnāt just mad doctors running around with meat cleavers going to town.
Itās a process that spans the childās entire childhood, with thousands of opportunities to pump the breaks and change course, that if avoided in the name of something other than the childās happiness and the doctors recommendationsā¦ will lead to tremendous misery and resentment.
I was born in the late 80s. My parents didnāt know what trans was. They took me to a conversion therapist when I was 5. Their solution for me was to āconvince me to be normalā.
I grew up hating myself and feeling like a freak, because the feelings never went away, and I no longer felt safe talking about themā¦ with anyoneā¦ so I was alone, hurting, in silence, watching my body change forever in ways I hated, trying to rationalize it all, imagining that one day Iād like the changes somehow.
That day never came.
I have been through a lot in my life. If my parents had known about transsexualism and gender transition, and supported me fully, my life would have been so much better.
I now have a whole host of mental issues that will haunt me until the day I die.
I want to love life. I want to see the good in people. Itās so hard when youāve been through what someone like me has.
I am the direct result of your nervousness about treating children for gender dysphoria.
Thank you for your openness and sharing your personal story. I canāt even imagine what that must have been like, and Iām sorry that you had to experience that.
Also thank you for taking the time to explain. I 100% agree with what you say. You describe a very careful procedure, it being such a delicate matter. This is what I would want for my son if he was in this position. Heās 4 and has said heās a girl many times lately. Thatās incredibly young and probably a phase. I recall myself wanting to be a girl for a bit, at the same age, and my mom gave me a dress to wear (great mum, and a wonderful memory, I was lucky). It didnāt stick for me. But if it does for him, my primary concern is their wellbeing, and that they grow up in an accepting environment (and society). I wish you couldāve had that.
If I may ask you a question, I honestly donāt know this. Puberty is a natural process that everyone goes through under normal circumstances. But children who transition and take puberty blockers donāt, I assume (or do they but after transitioning?). If they donāt, thatās an experience they will never have, is there any issue with that?
Thanks again for your thoughtful response. Itās really helpful to understand.
PS I wanted to clarify that my worry on this issue is primarily with doing away with a careful process, as Iāve heard sometimes being voiced. Iām not saying it should be made more difficult, but it is a delicate process, with young children, and I feel what you described is a proper way of handling it. I think many folks (the majority really) who consider themselves a bit more neutral on the matter think this way, and being called transphobe for even the slightest deviation from the opinion of some folks does the trans community more harm than good.
So thereās something called Hormone Replacement Therapy.
Itās where doctors refer you to endocrinologists who measure the hormone levels in ng/DL or nanograms per deciliter in your blood.
The endocrinologists then recommend a dosage of estradiol and progesterone, or testosterone if the child is transitioning from āfemale to maleā, in order to bring their hormone levels into a healthy range for someone their age of the opposite sex.
The body is surprisingly flexible especially during development when your bones and ligaments are still forming and your epiphyseal plates are still porous and malleable. When they go from blockers to HRT, their body will make puberty of the opposite sex happen, and they will look completely natural as a member of that sex, with the exception of their gonads/genitals.
These are almost always the trans people āyou canāt tellā with. Itās easy to blend in when you never went through āthe wrong pubertyā so to speak.
That happens after the blockers, and is basically the final decision before permanent changes happen, usually at 14 - 16 years of age after having the child on puberty blockers and regularly therapy sessions.
No medicine will be prescribed until puberty begins, and no surgeries will be prescribed until adulthood in most cases. There are some rare exceptions in some states, but itās still at the parents discretion.
If the child and you decide transition isnāt the right choice, the child can simply go off the puberty blockers, and regular puberty happens in line with their assigned sex at birth, with a minimal change in development.
If your child is showing signs I absolutely recommend talking to multiple doctors and therapists about all of this, and if it seems right you may end up wanting to schedule some pediatric therapy for them to really investigate and potentially diagnoseā¦ or simply to learn that it really is just a phase, which is also worth knowing for sure from professionals, that way you donāt have to second guess yourself as much.
Professionals make mistakes which is why I recommend seeking multiple opinions just to be sure.
If you make the child feel safe and give them options, they will show you their true unfiltered nature, whatever that may be.
Some little girls are tomboys early in life but grow up and remain female and live as women, because itās not about what toys they like or how they interact with othersā¦ itās about whether or not they have clinical gender dysphoria and feel sad or scared at the idea of growing up and living as their birth sex.
Doctors are your friend. They became doctors to help people. Let them try!
Thank you for your response. As you can probably tell, I wasnāt aware of the details of the procedure, and how much the timelines matter. I never felt the need to find out before because in general I trust healthcare professionals (and do support this type of care), but understanding more about it is certainly helpful and educational. Of course I can Google things, but then we miss the opportunity to learn from one another, right?
About your advice of talking to our doctor about when my son says heās a girl. This is really interesting to me. I had not considered it before at all, didnāt even cross my mind, and I can immediately say I wonāt take him now. Thereās multiple reasons for that that are of a personal nature that I wonāt share here, but I can tell why Iām immediately dismissive of the idea. These are personal beliefs.
Heās still very young and heās just figuring out that thereās the concept of gender, and that we in general use these labels for one type and other. Itās not something that is currently of any concern to me, not at home, nor the community we live in. All we care about is that heās happy, healthy, and that he becomes a good person at this stage. I believe that giving this any weight now, will make it into a thing. I donāt want to influence this, heās just a tiny kid. Of course that would all change if it persists. If the school starts giving signals that something is afoot for example. But I imagine that that will still take quite some time. Again a personal belief here (and perhaps more controversial here): to me it feels like doing this now, in the situation weāre in, feels like a gross overreaction (albeit orders of magnitude less extreme than immediately think about something like conversion therapy!). I think itās just completely normal behaviour, why consult a doctor? Heās in a safe environment and can figure thing out for himself for now.
If my kid finds himself in this position, I will do everything in my power to make this as smooth as possible. He will not be traumatised by this if he wants this.
I do thank you for the suggestion, I hadnāt thought about it myself and understand it comes from a good place.
I think itās just completely normal behaviour, why consult a doctor? Heās in a safe environment and can figure thing out for himself for now.
Honestly agreed at that age.
Just remember thereās outside influences. If you arenāt clearly demonstrating you are supportive now, regardless of whether she changes her mind later or not, sheās likely to learn is something to be ashamed of and to keep a secret. After internalizing that, it can be hard to trust people even if theyāre trying to be supportive. Personally, I can remember hiding things by around the age of 7 or 8. My mom was supportive of gender non-conforming behavior, but only at home and that (combined with broader interactions with people) just taught me it was something to hide, including from my mom.
Itās not 2014 and yet this is a post about not supporting the trans agenda makes one a āfucking psychopathā.
The joke, if you paid attention, is that the trans agenda isnāt a thing. Theyāre just trying to survive. So yeah, not supporting someoneās right to exist is some psychopathic behavior.
The fact thay you think thereās a trans agenda outside of just trying to survive doesnāt make you a psychopath, but it does make you an idiot.
What else do you call someone who wants to deny medical care for children and force them to go through irreversible changes?
With irreversible changes do you mean puberty?
Unfortunately puberty causes irreversible changes yes.
Now that doctors and parents en masse know trans people are a thing, if a child shows signs of gender dysphoria in early childhood, therapy is in order.
If the therapist determines the child is probably trans, and the (male) child insists they donāt want to grow up as a man, or vice versa, or whatever, and the parents feel like itās not going to change and theyāre more concerned with the childās happiness than with some religious conviction or conservative values they may be clinging toā¦
The child should be given puberty blockers, which studies have shown do NOT cause irreversible damage.
As the child becomes a teenager and the situation stays the sameā¦ eventually it becomes obvious that some form of puberty needs to happen, and a choice has to be made. Usually this happens around 14 - 16 I believe.
Itās a tough decision, with many people involved, and the end result will be permanent irreversible changes to the teenagerās (soon to be adultās) body.
If you force the child to go through a puberty they donāt want, you fuck them upā¦ forever.
You destroy their life in a lot of ways. You condemn them to a life of harassment and rejection and isolation. Your own child.
This isnāt just mad doctors running around with meat cleavers going to town.
Itās a process that spans the childās entire childhood, with thousands of opportunities to pump the breaks and change course, that if avoided in the name of something other than the childās happiness and the doctors recommendationsā¦ will lead to tremendous misery and resentment.
I was born in the late 80s. My parents didnāt know what trans was. They took me to a conversion therapist when I was 5. Their solution for me was to āconvince me to be normalā.
I grew up hating myself and feeling like a freak, because the feelings never went away, and I no longer felt safe talking about themā¦ with anyoneā¦ so I was alone, hurting, in silence, watching my body change forever in ways I hated, trying to rationalize it all, imagining that one day Iād like the changes somehow.
That day never came.
I have been through a lot in my life. If my parents had known about transsexualism and gender transition, and supported me fully, my life would have been so much better.
I now have a whole host of mental issues that will haunt me until the day I die.
I want to love life. I want to see the good in people. Itās so hard when youāve been through what someone like me has.
I am the direct result of your nervousness about treating children for gender dysphoria.
I am the alternative to supporting them.
Please donāt believe I am better off.
Iām not.
I am in psychological pain that never ends.
Thank you for your openness and sharing your personal story. I canāt even imagine what that must have been like, and Iām sorry that you had to experience that.
Also thank you for taking the time to explain. I 100% agree with what you say. You describe a very careful procedure, it being such a delicate matter. This is what I would want for my son if he was in this position. Heās 4 and has said heās a girl many times lately. Thatās incredibly young and probably a phase. I recall myself wanting to be a girl for a bit, at the same age, and my mom gave me a dress to wear (great mum, and a wonderful memory, I was lucky). It didnāt stick for me. But if it does for him, my primary concern is their wellbeing, and that they grow up in an accepting environment (and society). I wish you couldāve had that.
If I may ask you a question, I honestly donāt know this. Puberty is a natural process that everyone goes through under normal circumstances. But children who transition and take puberty blockers donāt, I assume (or do they but after transitioning?). If they donāt, thatās an experience they will never have, is there any issue with that?
Thanks again for your thoughtful response. Itās really helpful to understand.
PS I wanted to clarify that my worry on this issue is primarily with doing away with a careful process, as Iāve heard sometimes being voiced. Iām not saying it should be made more difficult, but it is a delicate process, with young children, and I feel what you described is a proper way of handling it. I think many folks (the majority really) who consider themselves a bit more neutral on the matter think this way, and being called transphobe for even the slightest deviation from the opinion of some folks does the trans community more harm than good.
So thereās something called Hormone Replacement Therapy.
Itās where doctors refer you to endocrinologists who measure the hormone levels in ng/DL or nanograms per deciliter in your blood.
The endocrinologists then recommend a dosage of estradiol and progesterone, or testosterone if the child is transitioning from āfemale to maleā, in order to bring their hormone levels into a healthy range for someone their age of the opposite sex.
The body is surprisingly flexible especially during development when your bones and ligaments are still forming and your epiphyseal plates are still porous and malleable. When they go from blockers to HRT, their body will make puberty of the opposite sex happen, and they will look completely natural as a member of that sex, with the exception of their gonads/genitals.
These are almost always the trans people āyou canāt tellā with. Itās easy to blend in when you never went through āthe wrong pubertyā so to speak.
That happens after the blockers, and is basically the final decision before permanent changes happen, usually at 14 - 16 years of age after having the child on puberty blockers and regularly therapy sessions.
No medicine will be prescribed until puberty begins, and no surgeries will be prescribed until adulthood in most cases. There are some rare exceptions in some states, but itās still at the parents discretion.
If the child and you decide transition isnāt the right choice, the child can simply go off the puberty blockers, and regular puberty happens in line with their assigned sex at birth, with a minimal change in development.
If your child is showing signs I absolutely recommend talking to multiple doctors and therapists about all of this, and if it seems right you may end up wanting to schedule some pediatric therapy for them to really investigate and potentially diagnoseā¦ or simply to learn that it really is just a phase, which is also worth knowing for sure from professionals, that way you donāt have to second guess yourself as much.
Professionals make mistakes which is why I recommend seeking multiple opinions just to be sure.
If you make the child feel safe and give them options, they will show you their true unfiltered nature, whatever that may be.
Some little girls are tomboys early in life but grow up and remain female and live as women, because itās not about what toys they like or how they interact with othersā¦ itās about whether or not they have clinical gender dysphoria and feel sad or scared at the idea of growing up and living as their birth sex.
Doctors are your friend. They became doctors to help people. Let them try!
Thank you for your response. As you can probably tell, I wasnāt aware of the details of the procedure, and how much the timelines matter. I never felt the need to find out before because in general I trust healthcare professionals (and do support this type of care), but understanding more about it is certainly helpful and educational. Of course I can Google things, but then we miss the opportunity to learn from one another, right?
About your advice of talking to our doctor about when my son says heās a girl. This is really interesting to me. I had not considered it before at all, didnāt even cross my mind, and I can immediately say I wonāt take him now. Thereās multiple reasons for that that are of a personal nature that I wonāt share here, but I can tell why Iām immediately dismissive of the idea. These are personal beliefs.
Heās still very young and heās just figuring out that thereās the concept of gender, and that we in general use these labels for one type and other. Itās not something that is currently of any concern to me, not at home, nor the community we live in. All we care about is that heās happy, healthy, and that he becomes a good person at this stage. I believe that giving this any weight now, will make it into a thing. I donāt want to influence this, heās just a tiny kid. Of course that would all change if it persists. If the school starts giving signals that something is afoot for example. But I imagine that that will still take quite some time. Again a personal belief here (and perhaps more controversial here): to me it feels like doing this now, in the situation weāre in, feels like a gross overreaction (albeit orders of magnitude less extreme than immediately think about something like conversion therapy!). I think itās just completely normal behaviour, why consult a doctor? Heās in a safe environment and can figure thing out for himself for now.
If my kid finds himself in this position, I will do everything in my power to make this as smooth as possible. He will not be traumatised by this if he wants this.
I do thank you for the suggestion, I hadnāt thought about it myself and understand it comes from a good place.
Honestly agreed at that age.
Just remember thereās outside influences. If you arenāt clearly demonstrating you are supportive now, regardless of whether she changes her mind later or not, sheās likely to learn is something to be ashamed of and to keep a secret. After internalizing that, it can be hard to trust people even if theyāre trying to be supportive. Personally, I can remember hiding things by around the age of 7 or 8. My mom was supportive of gender non-conforming behavior, but only at home and that (combined with broader interactions with people) just taught me it was something to hide, including from my mom.
Just make sure he feels like he can tell you anything.
If heās scared to talk to you, heās going to end up resenting you.
Correct. Snowies did a good job explaining why.