I remember they used to come to my house until I was in my teens. I finally got fed up and when I opened the door, greeted them with, “oh great, you’re here! We were just about to sacrifice the goat out back if you’d like to join!”
Never saw them after that.
That’s actually part of their plan. They send their newest recruits to proselytise, knowing that they’ll get doors slammed in their faces, be sworn at, and face other hostility. This will reinforce in them the belief that the outside world is hostile to them, and only the cult can help them.
I tell anyone who comes by that I was disfellowshipped/excommunicated (depending on what group they are from), and that they probably don’t want to be talking to me.
They never come back. I think they blacklist the address when that happens, because they genuinely aren’t supposed to talk to you if you’ve been kicked out of the church, I guess.
You are likely to end up on an list where congregation elders will call on you if you say you’re disfellowshipped. That is the protocol. Just ask to be added to the do not call list. That should stop them from calling again.
All areas are divided into tiny maps that are laminated and checked out by publishers in the respective congregation. These are called, territories. There is a little piece of paper clipped to each of these territories that has the do not call list. Anything on this list is skipped.
People make mistakes at times. Like there is only one territory card and list and there may be 4 people in a car group. Witnesses always go to doors in pairs, so there might be 2 groups on the street. One might work even and the other on the odd address side. If someone is not all that bright, as is often the case, they may forget to look at the do not call list and share that with the other pair. With Witnesses, it is never malice. They mean well, but such is dogma.
I forget the cycle time, I haven’t been a pioneer for a couple of decades and outgrew that dogma a decade ago. I think it is or was four years for the do not call list, and it is supposed to only be elders from the hall that revisit those homes on the list. Almost everyone is either not home or does not come to the door anyways. From 9:30 in the morning until 12:00, a witness might knock on a hundred doors and talk to all of 3 people, at least that was the case 20 years ago.
If I feel like making them uncomfortable, I’ll just tell them the truth: that I’ll never forgive their extremely misogynistic and authoritarian cult for what they did to my favorite human before she escaped their clutches.
Uhhhhhh…can I succumb? That sounds like a good time. I’ve never had magic devil sex before…
Get on the 'bus
“Think of your penis as a bus. Because even a small bus, is a REALLY big…bus, ya know? All the women will scream in horror, and say OH MY GOD! HOW MANY PEOPLE DOES THIS SEAT??? And you can just chuckle, in knowing your bus is very popular! Get on the bus, Gus!”
~Eugene Mirman. 2004.
Is this a real quote. ? I must know. Tell me !
It was part of a stand up comedy routine I saw him do. He later recycled part of it in Sexpert.
I had two of these fuckers approach me as I was sitting in the passenger seat of my car once at the grocery store waiting for the driver to return. At night. I laid on the horn and didn’t stop until they got frustrated and left.
They rang my doorbell insistently one day. I asked the guy what he wanted, “just to shake your hand.” So I shook his hand. He’d pulled me off the toilet and I hadn’t washed my hands yet…
I’m gonna ask my partner, an escapee of that awful cult, if that ever happened to her back in the bad old days 😁
Had a guy answer the door once in his tighty-whities and the lady i was with didn’t notice, just ran through her whole spiel.
My uncle had a pair that kept coming to his house until he answered the door completely naked. They didn’t return.
I’d like to think if I answered the door naked it would prompt repeat visits, but TbF I’d probably do about as well as your uncle.
Succubus!!!
So these guys believe that they have to share their info with everyone, which triggers armageddon, fucking most people, right? So should it not be their moral duty to keep that info to themselves and take it to their grave? They are basically sneakily murdering you by sharing their knowledge with you.
Bipolar manic phase?
Look a non believer.
Respect devil magic when you see it.
That’s my favorite phase (in others).
