…am I stupid? I have zero clue what that has to do with this story. What context am I missing?

…wait, are people just NOW realizing this?

Fart with gravy??? Oh man. Please never invite me to Thanksgiving dinner at hour house!!! At the very least my potatoes will be DRY!

I mean…it’s a fairly recent addition. In fact I think you may have coined it right here.

Also, I’m stealing that.

And hangin with mr cooper had squiggly neon lines that were never explained and never referenced.

It’s literally all I remember about that show

…ok, but you do realize what hspprned the 2 days prior to tank man, right?

2017 on his first day as president, he was scheduled to call the prime minister of Austrailia.

It’s typically a nothing call. Usually short, basically just “Hi, I’m the new president of America. You’re our ally. Happy to talk, ok, buh-bye now.”

And he’s supposed to do like 20 of those calls on his first day.

Upon talking, he IMMEDIATELY changed the tone to hostile and aggressive, and ended the call by saying “NO NO, IN THIS LIFE IT’S AMERICA FIRST, AND YOU NEVER, FUCKHEAD!” before slamming the phone. I forget the full quote the prime minister said to the media, but it was something along the lines of “I don’t know what that phone call was. I was prepared to invite him for a presidential tour and meeting here, as is customary, and expected to be invited to America for him to give me a tour of America. Then he got pushy, and now I’m saved a 16 hour flight, but worry for Americas future if that’s who they elected”.

Remember, that was the day after inauguration. First day on the job, and our ally was (rightfully) worried about our future.

Within a week trump had met with North Koreas dictator, and trump was interviewed as saying “Now THATS a leader! That’s someone who’s respected. I want that for America. How do I get that gig?”

Again. Talking about Kim Jong Ill.

Oooooh, trump had to cancel a press event today because one of those!

it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if she is vastly more intelligent than Trump and has a much better handle on how the world works.

Yeah, but that’s not a high bar to clear. I was on the bus and heard a 5 year old yell out “ICE IS A BAG OF POOP!!!”

I’d say that kid has a solid handle on life, and meets the requirements to clear your bar.

Oh. Justin Beiber not only got married, but is anti-ICE? Good for him! Hadn’t heard his name for like a decade. Good to see he’s not one of those celebrities that goes off the deep end, and joins the scientology church.

Her tail is so fluffy!!!

I’m stealing your cat. Or maybe Nicole Almendarez’s cat. I’m unclear whose cat this is, but now it’s mine.

YOINK!

I’ve been saying this for decades. We live in the dumbest timeline. We live in a timeline where during covid they shut down the gyms. In response to this, hundreds of people showed up outside the locked gym doors and protested the closure saying they need to workout everyday. They did this by doing pushups, and full cardio classes as a group on the sidewalk. When the governor pointed out that they don’t need the gym to workout, and that they’re working out right now, the big guy who had been talking to cameras got pissed off and started aggressively doing pullups on a small tree that was planted in the treelawn. The tree didn’t support his weight, and he fell on his ass. Then he blamed the governor for that.

We live in a timeline where a couple kids ate tidepods. That in itself was not a story. But the media reported it as if it was a new epidemic among teenagers. They said it causes permanent damage to your digestive tract, and can be lethal. Which in itself MADE it an epidemic among teenagers, and NOW thousands of them started eating tidepods because of the media stories.

We live in a timeline where roughly half the country cares what genitals you have, which bathroom you use, and what pronouns you carry. As if a penis leaking pee is a different substance than a vagina leaking pee. As if ANY of this shit matters.

We live in a timeline where white people for nearly a century had segregated EVERYTHING. As if a black person drinking from the same water fountain as a white person was in any way different than two white people drinking from the same fountain.

We live in a timeline where we arrested Paul Rubins for going to a solo porn theater, which is designed specifically for masturbation, and he gets arrested for masturbation.

We live in a timeline where in 1996 McDonalds released a burger in Cleveland, which was 6 quarter pounder patties, layered between 8 slices of cheese. I can’t find anyone who remembers this happening, so I think it was a test market, and sales were as bad as you’d think. With our local news stations jokingly called it the McHeart Attack.

Ok, I’m going a bit off the rails a bit towards the end, but my point is, everyday I wake up, remember I’m on earth, and my reaction is always the same. “Ugh, humans…”

Because everything on this god damned planet is dumb as hell. People are dumb as hell. I don’t understand why people are afraid of being abducted by aliens. Yeah, sure, they play with your butthole a bit, but then you get to go to a different non-earth planet. I’m 42. I get my butthole played with just going to the doctors, and afterwards I still have to live on earth!

Look, I’ve lost track of the point I was making because I got angry thinking about how my mom wouldn’t let 13 year old me eat the McHeart Attack. And now 42 year old me just wants to hang out in some corn fields, and chill with some aliens on another planet. And if they need to check my butthole for drugs or whatever, so be it.

TAKE ME WITH YOU ALIEN FRIENDS!!!

Shown here is an example of something that comes to mind, which reminds me of practices in which I engage. Practices that artifficially increase the quantity of substance, without dramatically increasing the quality of substance my message brings to a conversation, or otherwise printed materials.

Take all the text away, blacken one of their pictures so it’s just a silhouette, and then under it put the logo for “WHO’S THAT POKEMON?”

And then under the one on the right (the one who’s picture is unaltered) you put “Dog.”

NAKKID GRANDMA!!!

You call them tankies, but every country has that. People blindly patriotic to their own country. Willing to overlook the biggest of flaws with their country.

I live in the united states, and have seen people defend ICE. I’ve heard people defend the Vietnam War. I’ve seen people defend our multiple invasions of Iraq. I’ve seen people online defend the killings of Renėe Good, and Alex Pretti.

All because “Home good, outsiders bad!”

And that’s as far as some people think.

Maybe to YOU. There’s a reason I come to Lemmy, and formerly reddit, and ask questions that I COULD just google. But I ask people. Because people aren’t robots. Family Fued is a tv show based around the idea that you can ask 100 people the same question, and get different answers.

If I ask google the same question 100 times, it loads the same info everytime.

Who is this cat that tolerated playkng dress up and photography sessions???

EVERY place is a wrong place wrong time to pepper spray a child!

Elián González is now a Cuban politician, who openly hates America.

Honestly, I can’t blame him.