You’re both half right. You offer the most exclusive expensive penis enlargement surgury for free just for them, BECAUSE they’re a billionaire.

Nothing rich assholes love more than getting expensive shit for free because of their privledge.

Question is, are billionaire diamond tycoons the pegging type?

Yeehaw!

They’re still a little wobbly but they’re good enough.

This is what drunk dads say about their 1 year old son who’s just learning to walk.

I only have one laptop so my hobbies have to coexist on it.

And yet I see no pornhub sticker…

So, good job to those of you who voted for trump because Kamala was pro-Isreal.

You voted for the guy who’s even MORE pro-Isreal, AND now we’re getting murdered in the streets.

Didn’t even think of that. Changed it.

“My republican party has gone to shit! I’m embarassed to be assosiated with these assclowns!”

Those are his exact words. I can communicate with ghosts. He totally said that. Word for word.

Also, your great grandmother is upset you never call her. I tried explaining that you have no way of doing that, but she’s stuborn. You know how she gets. She refuses to admit she’s been dead for 35 years.

Can confirm. As far as my mom in 1998 knew, I didn’t have access to the internet. I needed the password to go on her Earthlink 56k internet account.

I’m 42 now, and my mom STILL thinks I never knew her password.

I’m 42 years old, and still remember it, because of how many times 15 year old me typed that in.

I guess I don’t need to “maintain” that lie anymore. I can’t imagine a scenario where my 70+ year old mother will ask me about that exact situation, or why it would matter today.

Without googling it, I’m going to take a wild guess that was RFK jr.

Love that song!

I’ve lost track of all the various bullshit going on. What exactly was the tylenol thing again?

C’mon now. You seriously think the zombies rise from theie graves on 2nd shift to give blowjobs? Or do you think it happens at midnight?

Yeah. Think before you speak.

Everybody wants cake but no one wants to live happily ever after

Fixed for 2026.

I’ve seen some UPS drivers that would just drive over them and park there without a second thought. I always said they should make the poles out of concrete.

I want cake.

Am I the only one who finds this story laughable? As a mostly console gamer, if feels like Nintendo releases games for $70, and they NEVER drop in price.

If you can find a walmart that somehow still has PS2 and gamecube games, the PS2 game will probably be some sports game, and it’s been reduced to $0.10.

The Gamecube game will be some kirby game, and still 2002 MSRP of $60.

Meanwhile over on steam, they’re like:

"Ok, this is a AAA game, came out in 2025, MSRP is $60, but we’re running a sale to pick it up for $5.

Also, here’s a shitton of free games. Go nuts."

Now hang on a second there. We gotta get one thing straight!

…did the duck consent to being sucked?

“What do you MEAN most parents don’t sleep in the same bed as their baby until they’re 35??? That’s crazy talk! Now strip your clothes, and get naked in this bed with me and my parents! I don’t turn 35 for 2 more years!”

That explains some things.