Everybody screaming FREE WILLY! FREE WILLY!!! but I take out my penis, and free willy, and suddenly I’M the bad guy getting kicked out of the movie theater!

…do you mean Sir Mix-a-lot? Or are you suggesting her jeans were actually baggy spandex covered in sparkles?

That made me think of a joke thats funny to me…but I’ve learned that most OTHER people find some of my humor far too upsetting to be funny.

So instead, just think about that clip of donald duck getting a handjob from daisy duck where he cums all over the place, and then says “oh boy! You are a mess! I’ll go get you a towel!”

Thats ALWAYS funny!

Spoiler alert…the spoiler makes all the difference in this case!

Is THAT why they call gay men “bears”? I always thought it was just because they were hairy…

I like netizen…but I have a feeling some people would find it cheesy.

But I like cheese. I eat bricks of cheese!

…why can’t I poop?

I remember one time, 20 years ago, a girl I was dating asked if her jeans made her butt look big.

And I just said “Yes”.

And she said “Should I change?”

And I said “Why would you change? You already found the jeans that make your butt look bigger.”

She liked that.

“user” sounds insulting.

“lemming”…I get what you’re going for, assuming they’re on lemmy, but that also sounds insulting.

“fedi-friend”. Now this is the reason batters get 3 strikes and not one. You got a hit with this one! I mean, not a home run…but, at least a single. Maybe even a double if the runner is fast enough.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t it leak a few weeks ago that all you had to do was download the redacted files, that the government themselves released, and then highlight the redacted parts?

I swear that was a thing.

Thank you kind …well I was going to say “person”, since I don’t know your gender. But now your username makes “person” even questionable.

Thank you kind life form of undetermined species!

Anyone got a mirror that doesn’t try to get me to turn off adblock?

We need to get the Irish, and the Mexicans together with the Asians.

Get some corn, and potatoes, and rice. I’m sure they can hybrid up a cheap but delicious dish! Maybe get some chicken in there.

BIG AMERICAN PARTY!!! OH NO! WHO IS DRIVING?? BEAR IS DRIVING! HOW CAN THIS BE??? CAR FULL OF MIDGETS!!!

It’s time to play the internets favorite game!

“Sarcasm, or asshole?”

In 2026, it’s really hard to tell…

Get those eggs outta here! Eggs think they’re all high and mighty! With their king of breakfast attitude!

I say we teach these eggs a lesson! And throw them at eggs houses! Lets throw them at chickens! Take that, egg poopers! I’m going to eat you chickens deep fried, so you can’t make eggs!

…and is that sour cream? Take that off too. I just don’t like sour cream. Replace with bbq sauce.

I don’t even know what Guajillo is.

Also add sausage and bacon!

We’re trusting that the murderers are going to follow the law? Did I miss something? Is murder legal now? Because if not, I see a pretty huge hole in that logic.

I thought you were suggesting either murder, or suicide. I couldn’t figure out which.

In reality, Sam Altman appears to be a man who has created a machine that allegedly points out massive gold deposits. But rather than mining gold, he insists on selling machines that find gold mines.

I can’t tell if I should be hearing George Carlins voice, or Jon Stewart.

Here. Drink this acid. Tastes like strawberries.

I don’t get it