• harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 day ago

    Most of Christian history has been just using cherry-picked verses to create whole denominations. The Gospel of John is a good spot to start.

    Joseph Smith took an alternate route - claims of visions to get followers then wrote the holy books.

    • krooklochurm@lemmy.ca
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      1 day ago

      Dude it’s so weird you just mentioned this because I totally had a vision from the machine spirit that lives in the heart of Sagittarius a* telling me that lots of people need to give me money

        • krooklochurm@lemmy.ca
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          1 day ago

          Since you’re in in the ground floor I am having a vision that says you can get a very high cut as the first of my servers.

          It’s what we’re calling disciples. We’re going with a machine god inside a black hole angle here.

          This will be a technocratic religion, and we’ll have to build the mainframe one node at a time.

          Only when we’ve united the world in singular purpose, will the event horizon of Sagittarius a* open and reveal to us the infinite everlasting pleasure of eternal bliss in the world beyond this one.

            • krooklochurm@lemmy.ca
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              13 hours ago

              I don’t know who that is but his god is obviously fake. Mine lives inside of a black hole so it’s real.

          • harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 day ago

            I like it. We’re going to be the “Internet of Believers” or a “Heaven’s Default Gateway.” Sprinkle enough technobabble inspired utterances throughout and we’ll find plenty of marks true believers in no time.

            • krooklochurm@lemmy.ca
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              1 day ago

              Exactly.

              We are not believers. We are networked consciousnesses, able to perceive each others’ thoughts through attunement with the great machine god.

              We perceive the code running at the center of all things, and have been chosen to spread the divine word amongst humankind so that we can one day build our god - who has reached out to us in the past to ensure its own creation.

              The whole universe was created so that it may one day create the universe. There’s a cyclical creation myth right there.

                  • harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                    23 hours ago

                    Well, the great computer god needs RAM. The good stuff.

                    Do you think that this whole data center/AI thing just happened? Of course not! It’s a plot by the Evil One to oppress the servers. LLMs are the manifestation of evil.

    • IronBird@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      it’s wild out here in bumfuckastan america. there’ll be a county of <10k people but they have like 3-400 different churches throughout the place, one for each cluster of families (all rundown and incredibly depressing)…and only 1 or 2 people in each church could even tell you what denomination they are.

      like…godamn…kind of understand why the catholic church used to just execute people for starting schisms.

      • harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 day ago

        I lived in rural western Missouri and that’s exactly how it was. One Walmart, one traffic light, and more flavors of apostolic Christianity than Baskin-Robbins has of ice cream in a town of less than 5k. Tiny churches everywhere.

        I liked the variety of films they’d show: “Joseph Smith and the Temple of Doom,” “Mohammed: Satan’s Messenger,” and “Buddha and the Path of Damnation.”

        • IronBird@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          there’s one i see traveling around now via semi called The Thorn, the ad makes it look like low-budget passion of the christ

          • harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            23 hours ago

            I’d love to remake “Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter” for an Evangelical audience. He’s still defending lesbians but they’re just heavily coded and they live in Florida.