I’ve been wondering this for a long time. I, a 19 year old with level 1 Autism, am very young for my age. A lot of people tell me I look like I’m 12, as I do not wear makeup or dress like most women my age. I also don’t use the slang that everyone else seems to use. For example, my younger sister is always using the terms, “chat,” “peak” and “67.” I know what most of it means, but don’t see the point in saying it.

However, I am the most young for my age when it comes to my interests. For example, most people my age would ask for new clothes, makeup, and jewelry for Christmas, whereas I asked for toys and imported candies lol. My special interests include coloring, writing, playing with baby dolls, and watching small clips of TV shows on Nickelodeon (I rarely get through the full episode lol). Most of these things are designed for younger children, but surprisingly, most of these interests developed as I got older.

My love for coloring really didn’t start until my senior year of high school. I was in a special education Employability Skills class, and in the class were 5-7 students with various needs. I got along with most of them, however, I noticed that they all acted their age, used slang, etc. There were only two students that acted younger than they were, and one of them would have constant meltdowns and scream every time something didn’t go her way, so she and I never got along. The other kid, However, acted very young for his age. I found out later on that he was in a special needs classroom, as he can not read or write and has some other learning disabilities. One day, he asked our teacher if she had any coloring pages or supplies, and suggested she get some for the classroom. As he and I have had fun together in the class before, I told him that I would love to color with him sometime. We never did anything in that class anyway, except for play Uno, which is basically how we became friends.

The next few months, he began giving me coloring sheets and paper, Saying he got it from his other classrooms. I asked what he does in there As those classrooms have always interested me, but I was never put in there. He really couldn’t describe it to me, and he can’t read or write, and isn’t really interested in what he does in those classes.

Anyway, he and I are best friends now. However, my mother was constantly on my ass about not being too close to him, as he is three years younger than me and seemed to have a crush on me for a while (I found out later that this was because he has never had any friends that were really nice to him, and I am his only friend as of now). My love for baby dolls has always been a thing, I started playing with them and haven’t stopped. I just find it so much fun.

I originally wanted to go to school to be a preschool teacher or special education teacher, but my dad hindered me, as he said to me, “You can hardly advocate for yourself now, I just can’t see you being able to get a group of kids to sit and listen. Don’t let me sway you though, you can become a teacher if you really want to.” This did sway me, and I decided I want to be an author instead. That’s where my love of writing came on.

However, I always use what I call “special needs language” when it comes to doing adult skills (Going to doctors appointments, making phone calls, going to places myself, etc). I get super worried about everything, as when I first became an adult, my mom kind of just threw me out into the world (she literally booked my doctors appointment, walked me into the lobby, and halfway to the reception desk, handed me her insurance card and told me that I need to check myself in because “I’m an adult now.” Then when the nurse called my name, she had me go back by myself. After that, she took me to a gas station to get something for my sister. She sent me in by myself, as she was getting gas. She gave me the money and off I went. Then later, we went to our final stop, the pharmacy. My mom gave me an option this time. She asked me if I would like to pick up my medication, or observe how she did it. Being on the roll that I was on, I chose to pick up my medication, despite never doing it before and not knowing how, And also to impress my mother with all the adult stuff I could actually manage in a day without taking a break and prove I could handle it. This day taught me loads of adult skills, but also that I needed to be young for my age.

Despite knowing all these skills, I still feel super worried whenever I have a doctor’s appointment. Going in and back myself, waiting for the nurse to call my name, getting tests and sharing information gets me all frenetic. The only way I get through it is by using my “special needs language,” where I basically break the tasks down into childlike descriptions (for example, instead of “Checking yourself in and sharing information,” I would use, “Greet the receptionist. Let them know you have an appointment with the doctor at the scheduled time. Tell them your name. Sit down and wait.” I used to use social stories, but stopped after my parents found out (For some reason, I hate when people find out my coping strategies, and prefer to do my own thing). Breaking down tasks into a more understandable way really helps me complete them without feeling so worried. Afterwards, I give myself a high five and feel more relaxed.

I also use what I call a “token board,” at school, Where I basically Break a piece of paper into five sections (20 squares total). Each five stickers I get, I give myself a prize. However, The prizes are labeled, And the more stickers I get, the better the prizes become. This helps me do adult skills, while also teaching me to wait for prizes.

My parents used to spoil me whenever I did something good (like talk to someone new or get good grades in school). Every little thing was praised and I got rewarded constantly. I told my mom later on that she really shouldn’t do this as it’s made me entitled, And she just said, “But look at how far you’ve come!” While this is true, my talking/good behavior was not because I was spoiled or on anxiety medication, but rather because I changed my lifestyle and also taught myself adult skills in a child like fashion.

Is anybody else like this? I noticed a lot of people with autism have younger special interests or use more child like concepts when doing adult skills.