As a reasonably unattractive middle aged man, I do wish that some of the people in my workplace wouldn’t wear low necklines. I am fully aware that I’m not supposed to look and that my eyes aren’t the target of the clothing choices. I think it’s very rare indeed that I do look, but I can’t help but notice, ALL THE TIME I’m interacting with whoever it is. I find it very distracting and would rather not be distracted from the issue at hand. What I look at is under my conscious control, but my sexuality isn’t.
Someone in the comments mentioned that men should know not to stare from simple polite social etiquette. Yes. I know this. I live this. But if you’re talking social etiquette, I think you have to accept that it’s possible to be inappropriately dressed for the workplace. Wear whatever you like while you’re out in the evening, out in the street, out shopping, but while we’re at work, while I have no choice over who I interact with or for how long, please dress in a less distracting way.
Sorry if that makes you feel objectified or controlled, and I don’t want to make anyone unhappy, but also I don’t want to spend our planning meeting trying to ignore your breats.
Would be nice if designers put out practical clothes. Clothes shopping is a massive pain for someone looking for more conservative look, cheap, and not look like a grandma. Don’t make fun of women wearing sweater all the time in summer cause it may be needes it to cover the clothes.
I honestly don’t understand why this issue can’t just be resolved with dress codes. God forbid in high school someone wear a shoulder strap not at least three fingers wide, but wearing a cardigan with a neckline down to your navel at the office as formal attire is somehow deemed socially acceptable lmao
There is a difference between looking/noticing and staring in my opinion.
It is also important to think about how choices over what one wears are driven by many factors, not just a desire to have people look at you. I think many women (especially younger women) have been made to feel that they must wear revealing clothing to fit in or be cool, so it isn’t really so simple as just an invitation for men to stare.
As for why men should not stare, it is because the male gaze (everyone’s gaze really) has power and affects people’s emotions, and it is worthwhile to care about how other people feel and not do something that would make a large portion of people feel uncomfortable such as staring at someone’s cleavage. Basically, it is impolite.
Is there? The only thing considered weird is staring at people who you are not having a conversation with. People can stare at shoes and check them out. People stare at everything other people mean to show off. Clothes exist to hide the things people do not want to show.
So if women want to wear clothes showing off their breasts then I am quite certain they want people to look at those breasts. So then why should people suddenly not look at them?
There is limited space where I can put my eyesight at, and your breasts took up half of them by dressing in a revealing way.
You can’t expose your breasts then blame guys for starring. There are twenty pairs of breasts in the meeting room. It’s gonna be one pair of another. It’s your responsibility to protect your breasts as well.
As a reasonably unattractive middle aged man, I do wish that some of the people in my workplace wouldn’t wear low necklines. I am fully aware that I’m not supposed to look and that my eyes aren’t the target of the clothing choices. I think it’s very rare indeed that I do look, but I can’t help but notice, ALL THE TIME I’m interacting with whoever it is. I find it very distracting and would rather not be distracted from the issue at hand. What I look at is under my conscious control, but my sexuality isn’t.
Someone in the comments mentioned that men should know not to stare from simple polite social etiquette. Yes. I know this. I live this. But if you’re talking social etiquette, I think you have to accept that it’s possible to be inappropriately dressed for the workplace. Wear whatever you like while you’re out in the evening, out in the street, out shopping, but while we’re at work, while I have no choice over who I interact with or for how long, please dress in a less distracting way.
Sorry if that makes you feel objectified or controlled, and I don’t want to make anyone unhappy, but also I don’t want to spend our planning meeting trying to ignore your breats.
Would be nice if designers put out practical clothes. Clothes shopping is a massive pain for someone looking for more conservative look, cheap, and not look like a grandma. Don’t make fun of women wearing sweater all the time in summer cause it may be needes it to cover the clothes.
I honestly don’t understand why this issue can’t just be resolved with dress codes. God forbid in high school someone wear a shoulder strap not at least three fingers wide, but wearing a cardigan with a neckline down to your navel at the office as formal attire is somehow deemed socially acceptable lmao
Why should men not stare at things women are intentionally showing them?
There is a difference between looking/noticing and staring in my opinion.
It is also important to think about how choices over what one wears are driven by many factors, not just a desire to have people look at you. I think many women (especially younger women) have been made to feel that they must wear revealing clothing to fit in or be cool, so it isn’t really so simple as just an invitation for men to stare.
As for why men should not stare, it is because the male gaze (everyone’s gaze really) has power and affects people’s emotions, and it is worthwhile to care about how other people feel and not do something that would make a large portion of people feel uncomfortable such as staring at someone’s cleavage. Basically, it is impolite.
Is there? The only thing considered weird is staring at people who you are not having a conversation with. People can stare at shoes and check them out. People stare at everything other people mean to show off. Clothes exist to hide the things people do not want to show.
So if women want to wear clothes showing off their breasts then I am quite certain they want people to look at those breasts. So then why should people suddenly not look at them?
Bravo. Well said.
There is limited space where I can put my eyesight at, and your breasts took up half of them by dressing in a revealing way.
You can’t expose your breasts then blame guys for starring. There are twenty pairs of breasts in the meeting room. It’s gonna be one pair of another. It’s your responsibility to protect your breasts as well.