• faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
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    2 days ago

    I’m agender, and this person is reminding me of all the mean girls who bullied me for not being femme enough. It’s the same kind of middle school logic that said that me not wearing makeup made me a man, and that I ought to kms.

      • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
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        2 days ago

        I honestly think that assholes follow the standard deviation pattern in humans, regardless of biology. It’s only when you start looking at categories that can self-select for behavior that you start seeing an over-representation of them.

        • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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          2 days ago

          Unfortunately, I think non-assholes are the deviation…

          The mean, median, and mode are all squarely within “asshole” range…

          • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
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            1 day ago

            I do disagree on that! The internet is a self-selecting group, and I’m gonna blame Meta, Alphabet, et all for creating algorithms that reward asshole behavior and caused an over-representation of assholes online.

            Furthermore, I believe that non-assholes have the capacity to temporarily act like assholes when exposed to stress. Everybody can have a bad day, but that a few isolated incidents of assholery doesn’t make you an asshole.

            • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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              1 day ago

              Good point. Social media has done a lot of damage to the human psyche, both on the individual level and the societal. I wish people and governments could recognize this for what it is: tech companies altering the course of human evolution; and take proactive regulatory steps accordingly. But that’s clearly not going to happen any time soon. There might have been a time when it could have been done, but that ship has sailed.

              Also yeah, you raise a good point that transient behaviors don’t necessarily define one’s personality. Moods are ephemeral and effect behavior, and just cause a person has an off day every now and then doesn’t make them an inherently bad person. I wish more people could recognize that, while also not losing sight of the harmful nature of people who are consistently jerks. That level of nuance doesn’t exist in the era of viral ragebait and reactionary sensationalism, however. Sad to see it so…

    • orioler25@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Okay, ngl most of these comments are just funny stupid man shit, but now you’re calling me a bigot for literally pointing out indisputable facts about a patriarchal society.

      Chuds are not your friend, they will not reward you for siding with them.

      • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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        2 days ago

        Goddamn, imagine if I were to go around describing feminism as “stupid woman shit” (I wouldn’t, because actually I agree with a lot of feminist philosophy such as bell hooks and Carol Gilligan, whom you’ve apparently never heard of).

        But let’s just say I did. Imagine your reaction. And then go look in a fucking mirror. Newsflash: you are a bigot.

        And then to call your generalizations and assumptions “indisputable facts” is a new level of arrogance. Do you even hear yourself?

      • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
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        2 days ago

        There is also zero reward for siding with people who think that if you’re not a woman, you’re a man.

        Turns out, what you’ve got in your pants has nothing to do with who you are as a human, and I’ve got penis-having friends who don’t judge me for not being femme.

        • orioler25@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          Interesting, could you explain how making fun of cis men equates to transphobia and TERFs?

          I see comments like these and I fear for queer youth who do not understand how their oppression functions structurally. Making fun of cis men, who are indeed in charge of every institution this meme is referencing, is not gender essentialism.

          • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
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            2 days ago

            Because it’s the same reductive binary bullshit they do. If you’re in this category, you’re bad, lets just ignore the rest of it because it doesn’t fit the black and white thinking.

            I also don’t fit the black and white thinking, ergo you won’t like me either.

            • orioler25@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              Jesus Christ you’ve been so miseducated. You think TERFs care about explaining what gender essentialism is?

              Purposeful misunderstanding from, “as one of the queers myself,” is also a common engagement tactic by chuds to gain info on disarmed queer people online as a form of intimidation. If you really are a queer person without education on what that even means systemically, feel free to DM and I can provide a reading list.

              • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
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                2 days ago

                And there it is. I’m afab and don’t want to conform to your rhetoric, and in your eyes that makes me as good as a cis man.

                You’re a TERF.

                Edit: And to talk theory?

                Patriarchy is the problem, not men. Patriarchy in the western world is a system established by Christians, where inheritance (aka, power) flows through the oldest male child. Today this expression has softened, but it is still men that receive preferential treatment by society. The Patriarchy is regulated by social gatekeeping what it means to be a man, in order to receive maximum benefit from social norms. This is what we mean when we say that The Patriarchy hurts men too.

                By continuing to insist that one’s gender is what makes them the problem, you are upholding The Patriarchy, and you need to stop.

                • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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                  2 days ago

                  Well said. Funny how they said you need education because you are far more emotionally intelligent than they are (assuming they aren’t just a troll, which they probably are, but even then).

          • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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            2 days ago

            How do you justify in your mind that it’s okay to make fun of a cis man who has never been anywhere near wealth or power in his entire life, just because most people near those levers happen to have the same genitalia as them?

            That sounds a lot like gender essentialism, no matter how you say that it isn’t.