• Yes, depression and fucking household issues. So much fucking yelling in the house.

      I not exactly in a good mood right now so I don’t bother to use proper grammer.

      I’m dreading a Chinese Exclusion Act 2.0 and also busy helping with family stuff… and I get yelled at a lot by my parents because I “didn’t do the stuff correctly”

      Depression makes my mind kinda split into 2 languages so I kinda mixed things up lol

      Flashbacks to getting bullied in school

      Ugh

        • Highschool has been long done.

          I just took the GED instead.

          I did get accepted to Penn State but I had to withdraw due to depression. Because my family of origin is so unsympathetic to depression and because they’re from a culture that doesn’t understand mental health at all.

          Still surviving… but barely.

          I have to rely on family.

            • I did get an official depression diagnosis… by a PCP/ General Practicianer, not a psychaitrist.

              I was on Lexapro for a bit, then my emotions got out of control and I misused it… overdose on Lexapro… (in attempt to feel better, not really a suicide attempt), nothing really happened except I feel a bit weird and like… obviously I did not die. I did this several times… I told the doctor about these incidents, I was told to see an actual psychaitrist… so this is where I am right now…

              Idk who to trust lol

              Fun fact: My mom keeps blaming me for my “self harm” and she said it was my fault for overdosing.

              Hmm guess who was the one that set up this toxic home environment?

              But I can’t even confront her about it… the power dynamic is so different… mom is always right about everything…

              This is just typical Chinese culture… nobody really understand mental health… it’s just so stigmitized.

              You’re either completely insane, or you’re just lazy and “lying and faking it” to get out of responsibilities.

              I honestly have this morbid curiosity and wonder how my mom would feel if I actually kms.

              I wonder if she would actually feel bad about me dying.

    • bthest@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      No need to be jealous. You’ll get that GED someday. Hopefully ICE won’t be around to join by then.