I used to work in the trades and the worst advice I ever got was from older men who forced their advice on me. I never asked for their advice. They just felt the need to trauma dump on me for all their regrets by giving me “advice” that was always meant for their younger selves.
If I had ever taken any of their unasked and unwanted advice, I would have ended up as miserable as they were and feeling like I lived a life of regret.
The best advice I got from an old guy at work when I was young was “start putting 100 dollars extra into your super every pay” (old man wished he’d looked into saving for retirement a lot sooner), the worst was “save yourself some trouble and go find a woman you hate and buy her a house” (old man whose marriage was based on him not being there and which immediately broke down when he stopped working away and wished he’d never bothered with it).
I have nothing wrong with people sharing life experiences. I can learn from that.
I do have an issue with people forcing unasked advice on other people. That comes with judgement from a narrow perspective. That unwanted advice does not take my experiences, perspectives or my own future plans into consideration.
Someone elses lived experiences should not be forced on others. Someone else’s lived experiences can be shared in a way where it can create conversation or give others something to think about at a later time.
To me there is a difference.
In fairness, there may be times where unasked advice may be useful. For example someone’s immediate safety. However, in most other situation’s it’s not appropriate and often perceived as rude by the person receiving the unasked advice.
Yeah that’s fair, in my examples the first was offered through conversation, the second was offered whenever the guy wanted to complain. Two different old dudes.
I used to work in the trades and the worst advice I ever got was from older men who forced their advice on me. I never asked for their advice. They just felt the need to trauma dump on me for all their regrets by giving me “advice” that was always meant for their younger selves.
If I had ever taken any of their unasked and unwanted advice, I would have ended up as miserable as they were and feeling like I lived a life of regret.
The best advice I got from an old guy at work when I was young was “start putting 100 dollars extra into your super every pay” (old man wished he’d looked into saving for retirement a lot sooner), the worst was “save yourself some trouble and go find a woman you hate and buy her a house” (old man whose marriage was based on him not being there and which immediately broke down when he stopped working away and wished he’d never bothered with it).
I have nothing wrong with people sharing life experiences. I can learn from that.
I do have an issue with people forcing unasked advice on other people. That comes with judgement from a narrow perspective. That unwanted advice does not take my experiences, perspectives or my own future plans into consideration.
Someone elses lived experiences should not be forced on others. Someone else’s lived experiences can be shared in a way where it can create conversation or give others something to think about at a later time.
To me there is a difference.
In fairness, there may be times where unasked advice may be useful. For example someone’s immediate safety. However, in most other situation’s it’s not appropriate and often perceived as rude by the person receiving the unasked advice.
Yeah that’s fair, in my examples the first was offered through conversation, the second was offered whenever the guy wanted to complain. Two different old dudes.