Reasons I left San Diego. I should have realized the girls my age had stopped boasting about their middle-aged boyfriends sometime during/before Freshmen year(I mostly believed/hoped they made shit up and I still avoid thinking about it), but all I knew was that I had my own bullshit and believed my main contribution to any relationship would be “I can make it worse”.
It also bugged me that dudes my age were more concerned with who could be/“must be” lying about what than how horrible the truth must be for at least one. That one stuck with me. Lie to me about trauma; If a less traumatic or “non-traumatic” truth comes-out, I’mma be stuck on relief, first and formost, and then … feeling pressured to lie like-so sounds like its own trauma/baggage.
Reasons I left San Diego. I should have realized the girls my age had stopped boasting about their middle-aged boyfriends sometime during/before Freshmen year(I mostly believed/hoped they made shit up and I still avoid thinking about it), but all I knew was that I had my own bullshit and believed my main contribution to any relationship would be “I can make it worse”.
It also bugged me that dudes my age were more concerned with who could be/“must be” lying about what than how horrible the truth must be for at least one. That one stuck with me. Lie to me about trauma; If a less traumatic or “non-traumatic” truth comes-out, I’mma be stuck on relief, first and formost, and then … feeling pressured to lie like-so sounds like its own trauma/baggage.