I had one piece of steak, an aging bell pepper, aging mushrooms, half an onion, processed American cheese slices, flour, lard, salt and baking powder, two potatoes and some peanut oil.

The solution seemed clear. Offend my Pennsylvania wife with something that wasn’t a Philly Cheese Steak.

The steak was free. Cost per person: $2.10.
If I had to pay for the steak it would be closer to $5.50