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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • I’m not sure you could call it a “flex” but the number of people I meet who are almost proud of how bad they are at math is ridiculous. Short of having been diagnosed with dyscalculia, lacking basic mathematics skills as an adult should be on par with not knowing how to read.

    It blows my mind how many other Americans I come across who lack basic understandings of fractions. We use the damn imperial system, which is a whole other issue for a different lemmy rant.







  • This is where I’ve been at for… Well… Years.

    I tried ketamine therapy last year. It helped a lot right until I had to stop, then I went right back to feeling nothing about everything. It actually had this side-effect where I no longer derive any joy from taking other psychedelics recreationally.

    I’m trying different anti-depressants now and some of them make it worse, none really make it better. Though my ability to focus on things I have to do but don’t care about has gotten a little better.

    I’m also basically just draining what little I had in my bank account doing all this bullshit.

    I don’t think I’m autistic. But I’ve been a “nihilist” since before I knew that word or what it meant. The absurdism can be both a blessing and a curse.

    I’ve always hoped I got it wrong, and there was something I just wasn’t able to see to derive SOME meaning or joy from existence. Watching the world this past year and just going through my usual work-eat-sleep cycle has put me in the “I guess I’ll just do this until I die” mode.

    I have a wife and a sister that would be very upset if I killed myself, and I’m too old now to do something like that anyway. I try to read or play video games in my free time to just turn my brain off. It helps a little. Pets also help.

    I’m trying to just be honest, genuine, and kind with other people to ease my self perspective until I finally drop dead. It feels nice to be real with people I don’t know, even if it’s a little off-putting to them. My perspective makes it difficult to connect with others. Being honest with anyone in that regard is a good way to “bum people out.” So having friends is mostly out of the equation. I have a few, but those friendships are definitely on their terms and have little to actually do with me. They enjoy my sincerity and honesty, I enjoy getting out of the house a few times a year.

    I like to tell myself “Soon it will be just like it was before you were born. There will be nothing, you will be nothing, and it will mean nothing.” It’s like a little mantra, just to take the sting out of monotony.

    Basically I’m just trying to do little things to ease others suffering with existing until I can finally be done with it. Seems to be the closest I can get to “peace.”

    I typed this all knowing it would be zero-sum, at best. But it’s my very honest perspective on this exact situation. Maybe something in it will be relatable to someone. Sometimes that feels nice. Otherwise it’s just people typing at one another on the internet. Nothing relating to nobody.












  • I used to be part of a YouTube channel that specialized in local multiplayer games, so I’m about to unload a healthy list on you.

    I’ll start with Speed Runners. It might be if interest. Little different, but same local multi player competitive vibe. I’m stoked for the upcoming sequel.

    See also (in no apparent order):
    Samurai Gunn (1 and 2).
    Nidhogg (1 and 2).
    Roof Rage.
    Lethal League {1 and 2).
    Gang Beasts
    Stick Fight; The Game.
    Starwhal.
    Sportsfriends
    Stikbold!
    Rockets Rockets Rockets
    Super Blood Hockey
    Porcunipine.

    All these games are super old, so they should be cheap and mostly available on other platforms than steam. Not all of them are a solid match for Towerfall, but they are all super fun to play from the same couch.