Wife and I solved this by rule of 3. She gets to decide if she’s suggesting options or making a choice. Whoever is suggesting options gives 3 choices. They must be something the other potentially likes. The other then either chooses one of the three or has to suggest 3 choices of their own. We rarely have to go past the original 3 options any more.
God I love Lords of the Realm 2. I bought it on GoG and go back and play that every few years for a spell. Rarely see others mention in and it was one of my favorite games of that era.