I say lean into it. Praise Jesus so loudly and obnoxiously that the preacher themselves asks you to tone it down a notch.

Guys. Guys. I’ve got it. This is poetry.

Show us your death certificate

Sure. Whether or not its constitutional, etc. is really beside the point. Any official challenge to the governor’s declaration would necessarily involve demonstrating that McConnell is alive and well (or not). In either outcome, the question of the governor’s authority would be moot.

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You must be new to the internet.

I’m sincere. If you’re experiencing real outrage then you have my sympathy and I do hope you feel better soon. Real outrage is not a fun emotional state to be in.

It’d be pretty funny if the anarchists called the feds, though.

Well, I hope you recover from this experience quickly and completely!

Yes, my super secret manipulation campaign which involves (checks notes) expressing my disapproval.

Yeah. That’s what I mean by melodramatic. The situation is not actually that serious. If this situation is the worst thing to happen to you this week then I’d say you had a good week.

People are outraged by what it is doing and how it is doing it, not by whether it fits the strict definition of malware.

Which is kind of what I’m getting at. “Outraged”? Really? Isn’t that at least a bit melodramatic considering the stakes and circumstances?