can’t even have a public wank in peace anymore what is the world coming to

While you were lifting weights, I was studying the booty shorts

Obviously the one going for armpit action at top right

Over 12k strokes for the average man, if you were wondering

The “then” referring to the PS3 era is hurting my joints

they have the two basic components, glasses and sun

rich as rich daddy balls

like the bejewelled kind

Someone will say psspsspsspsspsspss heyyy

You might be joking but this is legit the reason why dogs look at you when they poop. They are vulnerable when they poop and look to you for reassurance / protection

if this is true, then why am I not genocidal against people who can’t get none

stackable % based damage increase

If your Ring of Ludicrous Fury just cancels out your Lance Modifier for Attack Opportunity, I’d rather just sell the ring

what an explosion of taste

You’re tearing me apaaaart, Chichi!

Ha, jokes on you, I’m not kissing anyone right now!

I do believe that in “Measure of a Man” it was revealed Data to have a soul-crushing 13 inches

“I don’t know, I was too busy thinking about you”

I wish they’d redo Blade (1996) but with the Muppets. I think it would be so much better. You could keep it kid-friendly by having the vampires turn into bats instead of ash, but the thought of Kermit saying “some motherfuckers always trying to ice-skate uphill” would be so funny.

“I’m sorry! I should’ve asked first!”

The comments might get a little Messi

It’s like the relief that comes with explosive diarrhea. It’s just not the same without it