My cousin Ensign Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a shuttle to Terra Luna when all of a sudden the impulse engines went. The shuttle started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it’s all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other ensigns take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the ensigns are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of a sudden, snap! The impulse engines kick back in. The shuttle rights itself and it lands safely, and everyone puts their pieces or whatever, you know, away and deboards. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.