This reads like a joke question, I know, but I actually mean it.

Are you supposed to answer this sort of suggestive question with honesty? Or is this generally meant to be answered in coy and or affirmation? Because I don’t want to ruin the mood but I also don’t want to unwittingly spoil her expectations. (FYI, I’m average sized.)

  • krooklochurm@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    There’s no right answer.

    So many dudes lie about having a big dick that no woman will ever believe any man that tells them they do.

    If you tell them no they’ll probably believe you.

    The correct answer is some kind of coy flirty response like “play your cards right and you’ll find out”.

  • Veedem@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    If you answer with anything other than some variation of “why don’t you find out for yourself?” You’re going to blow your chances.

  • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    Flirty answer followed by real answer if actually pressed. It’s not like it’s something you reasonably have control over anyway (I don’t consider lengthening surgery reasonable, though more power to anyone that does, it ain’t my body), outside of maybe some small gains if losing weight in your pelvis area or improving your general cardiovascular health.

    Not gonna come out here and say size is totally irrelevant, but there’s lots of ways to have great sex without going around bruising women’s cervixes.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I cannot imagine asking a guy his size. That is rude as heck.

    If you have to answer “big enough” or “haven’t had any complaints” seems reasonable though honestly I’m having trouble putting myself into the mindset of someone who would inquire.

    • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      So, as a gay dude, bigger is preferable (and WHY DO BOTTOMS HAVE ALL THE HUGE DICKS 😭) but I’m also not going to turn someone away because they aren’t my imaginary godlike 13 inch uncut knotted wolfman - I’ll suck and enjoy them at basically any size, any configuration.

      So when a guy gets all worried about numbers, like my guy, if we are discussing sizes, you’re already going to have a good time in short order. 7 inches, great, 4 inches, that is fine too. Needy subs at the front of the line, but this business doesn’t close until the line is empty, and customer service is our priority. Rock what your momma gave ya.

    • ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml
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      2 days ago

      Right but if she asks in the first place, it’s a red flag.

      Imagine if the genders were reversed. It’s not a normal question to ask.

  • Mugita Sokio@lemmy.today
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    2 days ago

    I’d be honest all the way. If my member is small, I’d tell her that. If it’s big… I’d tell her that. It doesn’t matter to me, as lying just gets anyone nowhere.

  • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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    2 days ago

    Saw this happen at a party once, dude said its the best clit rubber you’ll ever experience with confidence of a God. Everyone laughed.

  • CerebralHawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 days ago

    I would say I’ve never had any complaints. Then, depending on context I might add — but let’s be honest, probably not — “only one way to find out.”

    On a more serious note, would it be okay to ask her if she’s tight? It’s basically the same question and deserves an equally serious response.

    • scarabic@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      I’ve never had any complaints either. But I have heard some micropenis sob stories and some baby-arm horror stories. Everyone here seems to take the question as “you’re not small are you?” it might also be “you’re not packing a cervix-busting pain stick are you?”

      While I find it completely inappropriate to ask a guy “so do you have a micropenis or a baby arm?” I can also understand how unsatisfying it would be to fall for someone and THEN find out that your sex life was going to be nothing but pain, or just nothing period.

      Different women have different tolerances. A micropenis is probably best for some ladies. Others need the bush monster. So sometimes the question has more to do with them than anything else.

    • AmidFuror@fedia.io
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      3 days ago

      What if you have had countless complaints and a few restraining orders, are you supposed to lie or not?

    • HubertManne@piefed.social
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      3 days ago

      Oh man I find all women complaint and its always the same. Oh god I can’t take it. Your going to split me in two. yada yada. Don’t any of them have anything original to say?

  • xePBMg9@lemmynsfw.com
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    3 days ago

    Don’t lie. Here are some things you can say:

    “Never thought about it. But I have a messuring tape here somewhere”

    “It’s average”

    “My last partner enjoyed it”

    “When aroused; It’s exactly x cm girth and y cm from root to tip”

    gesticulate, indicating size

    “everything is relative”

    “People stare in the shower room”

    “it’s vanishingly small”

    “I always had an advantage in that area”

    “It’s satisfactory”

    “It’s .00000000000107 or about 10⁻¹² astronomical units”

    “It can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs”