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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: August 19th, 2023

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  • You know, my best trick for social things is to do structured activities such as board games or as exercise class. In these situations the topic and activity is already decided and I feel like it removes a lot of the gap between neurotypicals and me.

    It does sound like you have some work ahead of you. It’s unfortunate that autistic people need a lot more work to be able to communicate with most of society but it pays off.

    Unmasking helps a lot, the outward difference is that you look eccentric instead of uncanny valley and it costs waaaay less energy.

    Also don’t try to simplify the way you think about yourself. “You don’t shut up” doesn’t have to be a bad thing if people are participating, some people enjoy it when I talk for 10m about sunblock and how the Australians have the best regulations for them.

    I’m very curious about pretty much everything and I’m shit at conversations but I can keep people talking about themselves and their interests for a long time by just asking them questions and rephrasing with “so it’s like when you” or something. Neurotypicals just loooove talking, especially about themselves and you showing interest makes them like you. People say I’m fun and nice to hang around with but in my opinion I’m incredibly dull, speak in monotone and mostly just don’t because I like not talking.

    Another fun point, I think of autistic people as normal and everyone else as weird. When I talk to autistic people it’s like a breath of fresh air.

    Now that you pretty much found out you’re autistic you can start to look into how other autistic people cope and thrive in society. Good luck out there!





  • Caveman@lemmy.worldtoAutism@lemmy.worldSo this happened.
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    3 days ago

    I personally think you have autism. Autistic people are somehow on the same wavelength and most of the people I know that are autistic I find conversation flows a lot better.

    The tricky part of diagnosing autism is that it’s an rich internal experience that only you can properly assess. An expert would always be at a disadvantage this way compared to self diagnosis.

    Problem with self diagnosis is that neurotypicals tend to answer questionnaires as if each question is a loose criteria but autistic people will consider each question as a strict criteria.

    Example: “I have trouble maintaining eye contact”.

    NT: I look away sometimes when I get distracted. 2/5

    ASD: Not really, it’s just easier to not look at people. 2/5?

    I personally don’t have trouble maintaining eye contact but I pretty much can’t process what the person is saying then. If they look away I get 80-90% and if I look away it’s 100%. A better answer to that question in my case is 3-4/5 since I have trouble with eye contact.

    Here are the tests on a website made by autists for autists. After these you can look at some result distributions to see where you land. For example, if you score >95% of NTs on the AQ it’s almost guaranteed that you’re autistic.

    https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/



  • That’s fair, but looking at papers is not really a good entry point for people getting into skills specifically. For information the GOAT it’s always Wikipedia but skills is trickier.

    Getting into car repairs, plumbing, woodworking and more can be done with YouTube and is frequently recommended by people in the trades.

    Getting into running is and weightlifting is also pretty good with YouTube since you have “Göran Winblad” physio and a running coach which does some quality content and “House of hypertrophy” is just weightlifting research news and he makes sure to mention caveats, holes in the research etc.

    Notably bad examples are programming and guitar playing which offer close to no value in my opinion but I’ve heard some people have had success with it. However when you get into music theory YouTube becomes good again.

    So in general LLM for basic info on what exists, YouTube for some examples on how to do it but the other >90% should always be practice.