I sit in the hallway and say 'pss pss pss pss" while making a scratching motion with my hand. The cat that comes over first becomes King.
Shut both doors, then open a different one and say “Whose a lovely kitty then?”.
Make sure they can both see me and understand that I heard their cries. Turn my back and walk away.
Meet injustice with justice.
Turn and walk away. Never negotiate with terrorists!
Mate I’m still laughing as I type this comment thank you so much
The same thing a cat would do. Look at them both, give a slow blink, then stand up and walk away to go do my own thing.
Check mate kitty 🙀♟️🎭
Shake the treat bag so they both come to me.
Sit where you are, invite them to come join you
Watch as they both ignore you.
Then at least it’s their own fault
Nothing is a cat’s fault - cats
Then you gotta play the game. Stand real still. Lick your arm. Scratch your head a little. Then spaz out and run away.
That’s what a cat would do
Power move. You sit down in the hallway and make them come to you.
Refuse to participate in this no-win scenario.
Instead? Ignore them and eat a can of tuna.
They will both come running to demand you drop some tuna for them
This is the ideal, yes.
If you can’t win a scenario, change the scenario.
Precisely. I came to comment simply: open a can of anything. Solved.
Sometimes you can even close one
Just make sure they don’t have access to where you sleep.
Sit in the hallway and go “Ps, ps, ps.”
Sit in the hallway and open a bag of treats
You got game
Walk into the kitchen, shake treat container.
Say “ma-ah!” at them.
That’s apparently cat for “come here”.
There is this thing called “pspsps” did you know that?
Ask Schrödinger to put you in a box, split yourself into 2 timelines, then you can satisfy both cats.
Okay, so which cat gets the corpse?
