I’m pretty open about the fact that I have autism, and there have been a few times when I have used the strategy in these tweets, but adding the invocation of my autism.
When I ask them to explain why it’s funny, they will often try to deflect the conversation at first, because they’re uncomfortable at being challenged. I can then double down on asking them to explain the joke, being all apologetic and saying that jokes often go over my head because I’m autistic. That makes it much harder to deflect, especially because I’m super good at appearing earnest when I’m asking this, so it manoeuvres the joke-teller into a no-win situation, where they either explain the joke, and look like an asshole, or they don’t explain it, and they still look like an asshole.
Then when they do eventually explain it, I am good at making my face fall in disappointment, before saying “oh, that’s not a very funny joke”. It gives me a great deal of satisfaction because there are many people who believe that autistic people are incapable of lying or acting, when in fact, being autistic means I’ve spent my entire life learning how to put on a performance for the outer world.
It sounds like her dad taught her the general advice, but she learned (herself) through using the advice that specifically sexual harassers stop laughing when you ask why their “jokes” are funny.
So both can be true as I’m understanding/reading it.
I can tell my kids whatever I want. They generally trust me, but will retain some level of skepticism until they discover that my advice is valid. In this case her Dad may have suggested, “try x” but she didn’t realize how effective the approach would be until she used it once.
The original tweet with context:
https://web.archive.org/web/20191108161005/https://twitter.com/HeatherTDay/status/1192833340543422464
I’m pretty open about the fact that I have autism, and there have been a few times when I have used the strategy in these tweets, but adding the invocation of my autism.
When I ask them to explain why it’s funny, they will often try to deflect the conversation at first, because they’re uncomfortable at being challenged. I can then double down on asking them to explain the joke, being all apologetic and saying that jokes often go over my head because I’m autistic. That makes it much harder to deflect, especially because I’m super good at appearing earnest when I’m asking this, so it manoeuvres the joke-teller into a no-win situation, where they either explain the joke, and look like an asshole, or they don’t explain it, and they still look like an asshole.
Then when they do eventually explain it, I am good at making my face fall in disappointment, before saying “oh, that’s not a very funny joke”. It gives me a great deal of satisfaction because there are many people who believe that autistic people are incapable of lying or acting, when in fact, being autistic means I’ve spent my entire life learning how to put on a performance for the outer world.
Important context. Thanks
So did she learn it herself, as per her first comment.
Or did her dad teach her this, as per her second comment?
Make up your mind!
Good advice, but obviously sprinkled with bs.
Also, posting the first comment would have avoided ALL of the confusion people are having about “not laughing at jokes”.
It sounds like her dad taught her the general advice, but she learned (herself) through using the advice that specifically sexual harassers stop laughing when you ask why their “jokes” are funny.
So both can be true as I’m understanding/reading it.
I can tell my kids whatever I want. They generally trust me, but will retain some level of skepticism until they discover that my advice is valid. In this case her Dad may have suggested, “try x” but she didn’t realize how effective the approach would be until she used it once.