I think part of the problem with guys trying to find sex, is chasing it from people who are in no way interested. So if Tom flirts with Sally, but Sally is asexual, then Tom has a 0% succsess potential if he hits on her at the bar. But he doesn’t know that. So after he gets rejected, now he feels bad about himself. Nobody likes getting rejected.
But if Tom went on nsfwlemmy, and found [email protected] then he would know that she’s just like a Buffalo NY city street in December. Ready to be plowed.
Idk, that sounds like the type of username some aces I know would use. Granted, they’re also the type who’d love to be spitroasted…
A lot if horny people like the idea of joining the LGBT club and ironically found the Asexual label the easiest one to morph to their desires.
So now a lot of people online will say asexuals are still very much sexual, and help that be a self-fulfilling prophecy by not caring that it makes people looking for others who are naturally not sexual very uncomfortable to be considered under the same label.
No, that’s bigoted nonsense. Trans people had to suffer well meaning cis people crying about “transtrenders” in the 10s and I guess aces have to deal with this too now.
Asexuality is lack of sexual attraction. Attraction is like hunger. Some people like to eat sweets even when they’re not hungry, some people don’t. The words for that are “sex positive ace” and “sex repulsed ace”.
Asexuality is also an umbrella. There’s demisexuals, grey aces, and others under the umbrella.
Also also, there’s aces who are into kink, but not genitals.
“and help that be a self-fulfilling prophecy by not caring that it makes people looking for others who are naturally not sexual very uncomfortable to be considered under the same label.”
Thanks for being among them. This is why I don’t use that descriptor online anymore, nor go to online asexual communities.
There’s a lot of people whose sexuality is NO, and being forced to share “safe” spaces online for their shared lack of sexuality with people who also say they’re asexual but their sexuality is YES is awkward, uncomfortable, and off-putting.
AKA no longer safe spaces (or a safe to use label) for those whose sexuality is NO.
Currently, thankfully, people offline still seem to understand “I’m asexual” means “No, I do not want to fuck. Not anyone, not ever.”
I would appreciate it if the two had separate labels so that they could enjoy their own commonalities, rather than being lumped into one despite being very, very different. Incompatibly different.
It feels like the equivalent of a lot of guys going into a space for gay guys, saying “I’m totally gay, but I really prefer sex with women and if you say a guy having sex with women ain’t gay then you’re just homophobic”.
Then on every single post about guys with guys, you get comments saying “Guys like girls too! Don’t forget about us!”
Like, Bisexual and Heterosexual are right there. Why go into a Homosexual space and change it instead?
You do have separate labels. You’re sex repulsed and they’re sex positive. If you don’t want to talk to them, all you have to do is be specific. Make yourself a sex repulsed support group.
If I need a support group to feel comfortable and safe under “my” own label, there’s something wrong.
It’s been better on my mental health to just stay far away from communities that want to simultaneously say I belong and yet also call me an acephobic bigot for the sin of not wanting sex-yes shoved down my throat in what I hoped was a community of fellow sex-no’s.
No thanks. Don’t need that. I lucked out and landed both romance-no AND sex-no, so I have the easier option of just dodging that entire scene.
And that’s why I instead offer my condolences to the romance-yes, sex-no people out there who now have to seek partners in very sex-yes filled spaces when they were JUST starting to get some sex-no spaces.
You can be asexual – not experiencing sexual attraction to some degree – while still enjoying the act itself. But you can also be totally opposed to any sexual activity, it’s a spectrum like most sexualities.
Ace refers to who you are attracted to sexually, not what acts you find enjoyable. You can just enjoy the physical stimulation (also some aces enjoy sex with partners as a part of a romantic relationship, but not sure if that applies to what I said.
Idk, that sounds like the type of username some aces I know would use. Granted, they’re also the type who’d love to be spitroasted…
I am extremely uneducated about this point, but how are “asexual” and “love to be spitroasted” compatible things in the same person?
Feel free to tell me to just search this on my own, but I am hella confused and if you can spare the time, that would help me greatly.
A lot if horny people like the idea of joining the LGBT club and ironically found the Asexual label the easiest one to morph to their desires.
So now a lot of people online will say asexuals are still very much sexual, and help that be a self-fulfilling prophecy by not caring that it makes people looking for others who are naturally not sexual very uncomfortable to be considered under the same label.
No, that’s bigoted nonsense. Trans people had to suffer well meaning cis people crying about “transtrenders” in the 10s and I guess aces have to deal with this too now.
Asexuality is lack of sexual attraction. Attraction is like hunger. Some people like to eat sweets even when they’re not hungry, some people don’t. The words for that are “sex positive ace” and “sex repulsed ace”.
Asexuality is also an umbrella. There’s demisexuals, grey aces, and others under the umbrella.
Also also, there’s aces who are into kink, but not genitals.
“and help that be a self-fulfilling prophecy by not caring that it makes people looking for others who are naturally not sexual very uncomfortable to be considered under the same label.”
Thanks for being among them. This is why I don’t use that descriptor online anymore, nor go to online asexual communities.
There’s a lot of people whose sexuality is NO, and being forced to share “safe” spaces online for their shared lack of sexuality with people who also say they’re asexual but their sexuality is YES is awkward, uncomfortable, and off-putting.
AKA no longer safe spaces (or a safe to use label) for those whose sexuality is NO.
Currently, thankfully, people offline still seem to understand “I’m asexual” means “No, I do not want to fuck. Not anyone, not ever.”
So you want to exclude sex positive aces from the community because sharing the label makes you feel yucky?
I would appreciate it if the two had separate labels so that they could enjoy their own commonalities, rather than being lumped into one despite being very, very different. Incompatibly different.
It feels like the equivalent of a lot of guys going into a space for gay guys, saying “I’m totally gay, but I really prefer sex with women and if you say a guy having sex with women ain’t gay then you’re just homophobic”.
Then on every single post about guys with guys, you get comments saying “Guys like girls too! Don’t forget about us!”
Like, Bisexual and Heterosexual are right there. Why go into a Homosexual space and change it instead?
You do have separate labels. You’re sex repulsed and they’re sex positive. If you don’t want to talk to them, all you have to do is be specific. Make yourself a sex repulsed support group.
If I need a support group to feel comfortable and safe under “my” own label, there’s something wrong.
It’s been better on my mental health to just stay far away from communities that want to simultaneously say I belong and yet also call me an acephobic bigot for the sin of not wanting sex-yes shoved down my throat in what I hoped was a community of fellow sex-no’s.
No thanks. Don’t need that. I lucked out and landed both romance-no AND sex-no, so I have the easier option of just dodging that entire scene.
And that’s why I instead offer my condolences to the romance-yes, sex-no people out there who now have to seek partners in very sex-yes filled spaces when they were JUST starting to get some sex-no spaces.
You can be asexual – not experiencing sexual attraction to some degree – while still enjoying the act itself. But you can also be totally opposed to any sexual activity, it’s a spectrum like most sexualities.
Ace refers to who you are attracted to sexually, not what acts you find enjoyable. You can just enjoy the physical stimulation (also some aces enjoy sex with partners as a part of a romantic relationship, but not sure if that applies to what I said.
You know asexual people who like getting plowed by multiple people simultaneously? Huh.
Just one. But yeah. Not exactly a demographic I seek out.