I genuinely care about my friends and family, but I forget to stay in touch and it makes me feel awful.
I’ll go weeks or months without reaching out, not because I don’t care, but because once someone is out of sight they’re out of mind. Then I remember randomly, feel guilty, and put it off again.
I’ve tried reminders, calendars, notes but nothing really sticks long-term. It’s especially frustrating because I do want to maintain these relationships, it’s like my brain just doesn’t cooperate.
Recently I’ve found a mobile app that helps (after rummaging through the useless, overwhelming ones) but I’m curious does anyone else struggle with this? Have you found anything that actually helps, or is this just one of those autism things you learn to live with?
Edit: since a few people have reached out the app I use is called Kinly Connect
When I have that moment of realizing how long it’s been and the guilt rushes in, I try to take a step back from the feeling and ask myself: how important is this relationship to me? Is it worth being uncomfortable for a little bit? And if the answer is yes, I text them immediately before I forget again. Because it’s always better to reach out late than never. And most of my friends understand by now anyways, because I have talked about my difficulties regarding this with them before.
But for trying to stay on top of it I’m not really sure myself. I thought about maybe incorporating some reach-out-to-friends time into my routine, like an hour every other monday where I spend some time calling/texting a friend, but I can decide who to reach out to and what method of communication to use in the moment, so I feel less pressured. Haven’t tried it yet, though. Sometimes I like to write a letter or postcard to someone I haven’t seen in a while. It might be a little weird and oldschool, but it’s easier for me to take my time and have some room to talk about what happened during the last few months. Also it is a nice surprise for your friend to find in theur mailbox!