How do I become a better person and stop doing it? I find I am constantly making mistakes and bothering people. I think a solution to this would be to stop interacting with people as a whole so my presence isn’t harming anyone, but that often isn’t really feasible. Like at work I often have to interact with people to do my job for example. Occasionally I have thought about quitting to save people from me, but then I wouldn’t know how to pay my bills. And idk that I’d want to be homeless.
There are just so many variables and ways to respond and interact that I manage to select the wrong ones all the time. In an ideal situation, I would stop and weigh the options of every single thing I do and say at any given moment in order to figure out the correct course of action. But that just isn’t feasible. And I never realize when I’m supposed to stop and think until it’s too late.
Like today, I wanted to keep my coworker informed about some case she will have to deal with in the morning. So I sent her a long text after work. But that was wrong and bad because it was bothering someone with a life at home. It was only hours later that I realized that I had an alternative. I could have handwritten out a letter on the case and stuck it where she would see instead of being invasive and bothersome and inconsiderate outside of the workplace.
I have learned some things over time, but sadly there are just an infinite number of scenarios and things and ways I’m supposed to interact and I just can’t figure them all out.
People go through that all the time. It’s normal. What matters is your learning. It sounds like you did learn.
Also, maybe they don’t care about the text? Some people care some people don’t. But probably better for it to be an email / note. Not a big deal either way. Just learn and don’t ruminate on it. Everyone goes through it.
How do I become a better person and stop doing it? I find I am constantly making mistakes and bothering people. I think a solution to this would be to stop interacting with people as a whole so my presence isn’t harming anyone, but that often isn’t really feasible. Like at work I often have to interact with people to do my job for example. Occasionally I have thought about quitting to save people from me, but then I wouldn’t know how to pay my bills. And idk that I’d want to be homeless.
Why don’t you believe that you can learn or get better at things?
There are just so many variables and ways to respond and interact that I manage to select the wrong ones all the time. In an ideal situation, I would stop and weigh the options of every single thing I do and say at any given moment in order to figure out the correct course of action. But that just isn’t feasible. And I never realize when I’m supposed to stop and think until it’s too late.
Like today, I wanted to keep my coworker informed about some case she will have to deal with in the morning. So I sent her a long text after work. But that was wrong and bad because it was bothering someone with a life at home. It was only hours later that I realized that I had an alternative. I could have handwritten out a letter on the case and stuck it where she would see instead of being invasive and bothersome and inconsiderate outside of the workplace.
I have learned some things over time, but sadly there are just an infinite number of scenarios and things and ways I’m supposed to interact and I just can’t figure them all out.
People go through that all the time. It’s normal. What matters is your learning. It sounds like you did learn.
Also, maybe they don’t care about the text? Some people care some people don’t. But probably better for it to be an email / note. Not a big deal either way. Just learn and don’t ruminate on it. Everyone goes through it.
Find a different behavior to replace it is the easiest in my experience. But not every apology worthy behavior has an alternative or replacement.