Is it a printer? Hold on. I will come help you throw it out the window.

Perfect time for me to bring this bad boy out of the archive.

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Traumatic Brain Injury

Sometimes the meeting is basically a Muppet movie and you have to do Michael Caine levels of acting because laughing out loud at the sheer buffoonery might have negative consequences for your job.

Totally get it. You wanna be where you can see your troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name.

I always thought it was weird that in the Baptist church I grew up in, I never heard a single sermon from the Prophets (Isaiah, Jeremiah, etc.) and the gospels, except for the parts about Jesus birth and death.

I later figured out that there are a LOT of passages in there that are very… Uh… Inconvenient for Evangelicals and fundamentalists. By “inconvenient” I mean it causes the rest of their theology to collapse on itself. So it’s just easier to ignore all those “liberal talking points.”

The Rapture occured on September 11th, 1988. She got left behind.

You guys have jobs??

I just finished moving one of my projects from Digital Ocean to a leased server. Even with a second host for backups, it’s a lot cheaper and leaves me with plenty of excess capacity.

It takes a little more time for maintenance but it’s not too bad.

If it were, “Share your stuffies and go out for ice cream”, it would be far from the worst marriage advice I’ve ever heard.

Playing video games with my nephews

Me: Get obliterated because I suck

Nephew #1: “Ha ha!”

Nephew #2: “What a fucking noob.”

Wife: Appears seemingly from nowhere “Excuse me!? Do I need to talk to your mom about your language?”

Nephews 1&2: “No ma’am.”

Me: 😏

“We’re gonna get those Lutheran bastards and send em back to Germany where they belong.” --ICE (Probably)

Is your last name “Braddock” by any chance?

You seem pretty sure about that.

Do U.S. people really think anyone can just be here and get the same level of welfare as a citizen?

A substantial number of Americans believe foreigners can come here and receive MORE welfare than citizens. They believe this because they ingest lots of propaganda via TV and social media that tells them this and they lack critical thinking skills.

God: “So these are story points. They represent an estimated amount of effort to complete a task rather than a literal unit of time.”

Creationists: “So I know story points don’t actually represent ‘days’ but for the sake of argument, let’s just say they do.”

Where is the Medal of Honor for bone spurs? It was basically his own personal Vietnam.

“Lets use Oracle DB for that.”

Statements made by the utterly deranged.

No. But there are a number of advantages of using PostgreSQL over the others.