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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: July 7th, 2023

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  • I’ll take it a step further and say that most of the people I’ve worked with have been amazing. Really just some very enjoyable people to be around.

    Something about the field though seems to really attract the super assholes and they’re so assholish that they color the perception of the whole field.

    It’s really unfortunate how a very loud, very obnoxious minority can have such an outsized impact.


  • “Being mean to people is a good thing because it teaches them to [something]” is an indefensible sentiment.

    Yes, nobody is entitled to your answer to a question and you’re fine to just not answer any question you don’t want to. Being a dick about it, though, is actively harmful to both the person you’re being a dick to, and the community you’re participating in.

    It’s interesting that people defending being a dickhead so frequently fall back to accusations about intelligence. E.g.:

    If you want to keep asking questions unintelligently, though…

    For a group of people so very concerned with intelligence, I wonder if anyone has taken the time to explain to you the concept of emotional intelligence.


  • Would you walk into a religious place of worship, a strip club, a gun range, or Costco without at least knowing how to interact with that space?

    I wouldn’t walk into a strip club period, but for all of your other examples I would absolutely go to those places to figure out how to interact with them. Frankly, I do not understand why you wouldn’t. Who is more qualified to explain to you how to interact with them than the people you want to interact with?

    You’re accusing me of “white knighting” (hello, painfully 2010s virtue signaling catch phrase) for saying that people shouldn’t be shitty to each other. I’ll counter by accusing you of enabling that negative behavior by making excuses for it.



  • No.

    All of the “rules” you’re describing are effectively just gaslighting people who have been bullied into thinking they asked for it. It takes so little effort not to be a dick to people. It’s like the lowest effort thing I can think of.

    Asking questions is fine; asking without doing prior research is fine too. Online bullies want others to think you need to have a PhD thesis on the topic before you’re allowed to ask a question and that mindset is ridiculous.

    Ask your questions @[email protected], don’t apologize for it, and just ignore the assholes. It’s totally fine to look for a human connection first, you don’t need that doctorate beforehand.