SOURCE - https://brightwanderer.tumblr.com/post/681806049845608448
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I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned āforeverā into the only acceptable definition of success.
Likeā¦ if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, itās a āfailedā business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you donāt actually want to keep doing that, youāre a āfailedā writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, itās a āfailedā marriage.
The only acceptable āwin conditionā is āyou keep doing that thing foreverā. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a ārealā friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a āphaseā - or, alternatively, a āpityā that you donāt do that thing any more. A fandom is ādyingā because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.
| just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And itās okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of successā¦ I donāt think thatās doing us any good at all.
Idk, being sad about and grappling with the impermanent nature of things is kinda a fundamental part of being human.
Maybe itās not fundamental and itās just a phase that doesnāt last forever :P
Pity
Reminds me of the line in Willy Wonka āThe suspense is terrible! I hope itāll last.ā
When I was young I used to like sculpting in modeling clay. After I had made whatever it was and shown it to my friends, Iād smush it up and make something else. I had a constant stream of people trying to get me to change my medium so that stuff could be made permanent, but I didnāt like the feel and I was fine with the pieces being temporary.
There are a lot of things like that. People make ice sculptures or do performance art. People enjoy an experience, sometimes as simple as a sunset. Yes, some of those people will try to capture the moment, say with a photograph, but lots of people are okay with the ephemeral.
This is exactly why I love baking.
Itās temporary, itās an experience, it leaves space for me to try new things without āwasteā or clutter, and it feeds the people I love.
More permanent media leaves me stressed about perfectionism, and I donāt enjoy the process as much.
Reusing modeling clay is a lovely idea.
Saying āI love youā with food is a wonderful thing. My mom did that and I for sure learned that from her. I think the transient aspect of it is great too.
Itās funny, one of the people who really wanted me to find a way to make my sculptures permanent was my high school art teacher, who I stayed friends with for a long time after graduating. Who left that school the year I graduated and went on to be a pretty well known imagineer at Disney. Not looking after he started there, he hit me up and said I have to buy some sculpy, which they used at Disney a lot. Turns out it feels just like modeling clay but you can bake it in the oven and it ends up like a hard plastic. So ironically, I still have a few pieces I made from back in the day.
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