This is really a monumental societal change.

3rd spaces are nearly completely destroyed, and online seems to be the main option for ppl now.

  • Dessalines@lemmy.mlOP
    46·
    2 months ago

    I’ve def met a few people like this. They have a few terrible dates on these sites, and it just stresses them out too much to even try again. Its really sad.

    • Asafum@feddit.nl
      271·
      2 months ago

      10 years of online dating, 6 dates out of it. As a well below average guy I just gave up

        • Asafum@feddit.nl
          5·
          2 months ago

          Idk comparisons are a thing that can be done and I’m objectively worse than most people in most categories (looks, intelligence, earning potential, education, interests, etc…) so I consider myself “well below average” especially since choosing a person to potentially date does involve comparing them to your other “options.”

            • EddoWagt@feddit.nl
              3·
              2 months ago

              (Not OP)
              I do get both your standpoints, its all subjective of course, so you can’t really be below average in interests or something like that, but you can definitely be below average in terms of commonalities with other people.

              I don’t know OP so I don’t know if he’s telling the truth or is indeed just unhappy with himself. But if your hobby is watching VR MyLittlePony porn you’re going to have a tougher time than if your hobby is cooking.

              Same for weight, if you’re 200kg it’s going to be harder, especially on dating apps.

              Money and intelligence I’m not so sure about, that probably matters less than he might think

        • Asafum@feddit.nl
          7·
          2 months ago

          I’m below average in most ways not just as far as attraction goes, but yeah my photos are never that great because I’m not attractive at all. I have had candid ones and funny ones, but I never got much traction. I live in an overpopulated area so this buffet table is brimming with options. I’m just that odd pizza at the Chinese buffet where you wonder why it’s being served lol

    • eldavi@lemmy.mlEnglish
      3·
      2 months ago

      i’m sort of like this and i don’t see it as sad.

      i was “married” (in quotes because it was illegal for me to be married at the time) and both internal and external stressors taught me that i got less significantly fulfillment out of the efforts & sacrifices necessary to maintain that long term relationship than i do now that i’ve been single for the last decade+; so i stopped stressing myself with the belief that i need to be partnered.

      it’s definitely sad if you get more out of being partnered than single, but i suspect that it’s not true of a significantly large number of people and that most are just taught to believe that they should be partnered and that, in turn, causes people to lament lacking partnership out of ignorance that they don’t really need it.