• jordanlund@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Good news everyone!

    My heart has stopped a couple of times now… if nobody had actually told me, I never would have known. I have an implant that watches for that now.

    Me, waking up in the hospital, fiddling around on my phone. Nurse comes in.

    “Hey, were you asleep about an hour ago?”

    “Yeah, why?”

    “Your heart stopped for 8 seconds.”

    “Um… ‘thank you’? I don’t know the correct response to ‘your heart stopped’. Wait, shouldn’t the alarms have gone off? I don’t remember hearing anything.”

    “Oh, they go off at the nurses station.”