How often does that happen? Man routinely get taken away when the woman was aggressive. There are also no safe spaces for men and they get shamed for speaking out about violence “because how could a little girl beat them”.
whenever I called the police because my ex was angry and dangerous, it ended up with them saying that’s she’s calm now, and that I need to leave so she can be alone with them kids.
no matter that she chased me when a knife, or hit me so hard she broke her hand, she’s “calm now”
All depends. I could have had my ex-gf’s mom arrested had I called the cops, talked and showed them the scratches. But I shut up because “men don’t do that”. I was also young and ignorant.
My roommate’s drunk gf came home and attacked him in his sleep. He tossed her out his room and locked the bedroom door. She proceeded to kick a hole through the door. Saw was a fist come out, straight Mortal Combat, “GET OVER HERE!”, she came flying out 3-seconds later, bent in half, crashing into the bathroom. Still came back to beat on the door.
By then my friend’s drama-queen gf called the cops. GF was in cuffs and he was shaking and crying. Drama-queen told the cops he touched her too, both in jail.
Punched my ex-wife twice when she attacked me asleep in my computer chair. For not coming to bed. Yanked my headphones, shook me up and spiked me on the floor. I can up swinging, hit her twice before I knew what was happening, hit her with a thrown flashlight after I knew was was happening. (Did not help that I was crashed for the last minutes of Saving Private Ryan, gunfire and violence and all.) Cops stood in my living room grilling me and I wouldn’t talk. They finally got me to admit I pushed her. Off to jail for me.
tl;dr: Cops treat self-defense like school teachers, story doesn’t count. NEVER TALK TO COPS.
Perhaps both of us are lucky to not have seen this toxic masculinity first hand
This is the answer. I have experienced it first hand thanks to an abusive ex-girlfriend. While we were together I tried to tell people what she was doing to me, but I was either mocked or simply not believed. The same thing happens to male survivors of sexual assault.
Don’t ignore other people’s experiences just because you haven’t witnessed it firsthand.
How often does that happen? Man routinely get taken away when the woman was aggressive. There are also no safe spaces for men and they get shamed for speaking out about violence “because how could a little girl beat them”.
whenever I called the police because my ex was angry and dangerous, it ended up with them saying that’s she’s calm now, and that I need to leave so she can be alone with them kids.
no matter that she chased me when a knife, or hit me so hard she broke her hand, she’s “calm now”
All depends. I could have had my ex-gf’s mom arrested had I called the cops, talked and showed them the scratches. But I shut up because “men don’t do that”. I was also young and ignorant.
My roommate’s drunk gf came home and attacked him in his sleep. He tossed her out his room and locked the bedroom door. She proceeded to kick a hole through the door. Saw was a fist come out, straight Mortal Combat, “GET OVER HERE!”, she came flying out 3-seconds later, bent in half, crashing into the bathroom. Still came back to beat on the door.
By then my friend’s drama-queen gf called the cops. GF was in cuffs and he was shaking and crying. Drama-queen told the cops he touched her too, both in jail.
Punched my ex-wife twice when she attacked me asleep in my computer chair. For not coming to bed. Yanked my headphones, shook me up and spiked me on the floor. I can up swinging, hit her twice before I knew what was happening, hit her with a thrown flashlight after I knew was was happening. (Did not help that I was crashed for the last minutes of Saving Private Ryan, gunfire and violence and all.) Cops stood in my living room grilling me and I wouldn’t talk. They finally got me to admit I pushed her. Off to jail for me.
tl;dr: Cops treat self-defense like school teachers, story doesn’t count. NEVER TALK TO COPS.
You had that happen at least 3 separate times from 3 different people? Holy moly. I hope you have better people around you today.
It can happen, especially when the woman is still losing her shit and being abusive to the cops when they arrive.
I’ve never heard anyone shame a man for not hitting a woman. But I do hear people complaining about that.
Huh, what? They get shamed because a man is supposed to be stronger.
The person you replied to was saying that they’ve never experienced this supposed shame but have heard of its existence.
I also have only heard of people complaining that this shame exists and have never actually seen a man be shamed for being hit by a woman
Perhaps both of us are lucky to not have seen this toxic masculinity first hand
This is the answer. I have experienced it first hand thanks to an abusive ex-girlfriend. While we were together I tried to tell people what she was doing to me, but I was either mocked or simply not believed. The same thing happens to male survivors of sexual assault.
Don’t ignore other people’s experiences just because you haven’t witnessed it firsthand.
Did my reply suggest I was ignoring this reality? I’m sorry that happened to you :(
It did come off as skeptical and a little dismissive, I’m glad to hear that’s not how you meant it.
I’ve heard it since I was a young boy. It’s the earliest example of “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” many boys first experience.
This is generally what happens when a girl is bullying you and the response you get if you defend yourself or if you don’t defend yourself.