A lot of words to say “your feelings are valid but that does not mean the resultant behavior is always justified or acceptable”
I don’t mean to be rude but in our increasingly scatterbrained culture I think messages like this need to be delivered as efficiently as possible
I agree with you. However it’s also important to keep in mind that not everybody has developed the skill of being succinct.
Of course, myself included, just check my post history for veeeerrrry clear examples
But sometimes we need to strive for clear communication. Maybe I’m a hypocrite but I think there is a need for both the wordy explanation for those that want to investigate the why and the succinct delivery for those that aren’t in a space where they are able or willing to dive into a 1-3 page diatribe on rationale
Thats a lot of words for why not both?
I did say myself included tbf
I’ve learned to be succinct first, and if someone wants to know more: they’ll ask.
Feelings are valid to feel. What is not always valid is how you react to those feelings; how you project them onto others; not to be mistaken for respectfully discussing your feelings.
No, your feelings aren’t always valid
Using the same incorrect reasoning being criticized and completely ignoring the explanation as posted.
Whether the reaction is measured, reasonable and productive or not, your feelings are ‘valid’ because they follow your perception of the circumstances you’re in and your ideological filter. But is your perception and ideology solid and useful, or are you being a bit of a blind dummy, hurting everyone around you with your nonsense ? 🤔
What’s really weird is that sometimes when you don’t do this, logically choosing the appropriate emotion, you’re actually sort of doing the opposite, illogically choosing an inappropriate emotion.
For example, let’s say that you’re angry at somebody for something they did. If you pay attention, you’ll notice that you actually don’t stay angry the whole time. What happens is that you start to feel less angry, like you are just about over it, and then you think about that thing they did, and you get angry again. It’s not completely conscious, but you’re choosing to remain angry, usually for no reason. If you just didn’t think about that thing, you’d stop being angry.
For me, I’ve noticed that when I do this sort of illogical thing, I can’t seem to get past it until I go to sleep that night. Sleep seems to break the pattern. But most of the time, I can control it nowadays.
