I don’t mean like how happy you are today. I mean overall, are you satisfied with everything you are up until this point? For me, for an example, I have a decent job that keeps my head just above water. I have a loving family that I see every couple months or weeks. I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want. But, overall, I’m sort of lonely and exhausted from constantly working. So, on a scale of 1 to 10, I’m about a 6.
I know these words won’t mean all that much, because you’ve probably heard the same a few times, but it’s never too late, and you are still pretty young tbh.
I was in a similar space, and finally came out and started transition in my mid 30s. My verve for life has completely turned around, I’m now starting to feel excited and happy like I remember from being when I was much younger. I want to do things again!
I’m not going to say that I dont long for a childhood or experiences that I feel I missed out on because I was the wrong gender, but at least I ca go forward now with excitement.
My life totally turned around, from a near alcoholic in an abusive relation ship on the edge of suicide, to a woman who has fun, has interesting new relationships, and a desire to find out what the future brings.
Good luck, and I hope you find what you need.